marijuana rabbits dea utah
Medical Marijuana Policy

DEA Warns Of Stoned Rabbits If Utah Legalizes Medical Marijuana

marijuana rabbits dea utah
(via neogaf.com)

Usually marijuana opponents go around asking people, ‘what about the children?’ Marijuana opponents have long warned that marijuana reform will lead to an epidemic of stoned youth. That claim has yet to be backed up by facts, so now marijuana opponents are trying a new tactic – they are warning that legalizing medical marijuana in Utah will lead to stoned rabbits, according to Matt Fairbanks of the DEA. Really. Per The Cannabist:

“I deal in facts. I deal in science,” said special agent Matt Fairbanks, who’s been working in the state for a deacade. He is a member of the “marijuana eradication” team in Utah. Some of his colleagues in Georgia recently achieved notoriety by raiding a retiree’s garden and seizing a number of okra plants.

Fairbanks said that at some illegal marijuana grow sites he saw “rabbits that had cultivated a taste for the marijuana. …” He continued: “One of them refused to leave us, and we took all the marijuana around him, but his natural instincts to run were somehow gone.”

Utah is considering legalizing medical marijuana. And not just CBD, which Utah has already legalized, but the entire plant. Utah is considering a plan that would provide for safe access to medical marijuana. The thought of medical marijuana coming to Utah has made marijuana opponents so desperate that they are now saying ‘what about the rabbits?’ If this doesn’t highlight just how desperate marijuana opponents are these days, I don’t know what does. Utah has sent the medical marijuana bill to the full Senate, where it will be debated and has a good chance of passing.

  • Sarijuana

    “One of them refused to leave us, and we took all the marijuana around
    him, but his natural instincts to run were somehow gone.”
    Wow…Now if we could just get some to the politicians, maybe they wouldn’t run either!

    • Robert Dewayne King

      ??? I was under the impression that herbivores did not respond to cannibinoids and could not get stoned !!

  • reefer

    those crop-eatin’ varmints! i highy doubt if theyre getting stoned, as rabbits will wreak havoc on seedlings or plants in early veg, but once theyre budding, da wabbits leave ’em alone. (be vewy vewy quiet. I’m huntin wabbits!)

    • Jean Anne Lewis

      ;-)

  • Patrick Star

    So to heck with all the people and children it is helping let’s just save the rabbit’s and the drug sniffing dogs lol I have one just one question why aren’t they throwing this big of a fit about cigarettes that kill Millons of people every day but yet they are totally legal and can be bought at your local gas station yet it is still proven that know one has died from Marijuana if there are millions of bankers,lawyers,political figures,business owners,actors,actresses and singers that would be dead already!

    • Thomas_More

      The “science” behind “all the people and children” is still tenuous. Medical legalization, under strict guidelines is one thing, erasing all law is quite another. Realistically, the main thrust comes from a subset of this population that are simply users and suffer from the immature need to alter their consciousness as a form a recreation, pathetic.

      • Patrick Star

        Yet alcohol is completely legal also and kills millions creates violence and has destroyed many families and is so convenient you can pick it up at your local grocery store and gas station and this is not being studied because it proves it self as a killer and still know one has died from Marijuana an herb no different than poppy plant used by big pharma!

      • Scott Rellim

        What’s pathetic is that you don’t agree with someone else’s lifestyle, so you call it pathetic, and you think that is reason enough to continue the illegality of this plant. I wonder why someone has the desire to drink, but I don’t go around calling them pathetic, and I don’t want to see alcohol become illegal. It’s called freedom.

        I don’t understand your way of thinking. “I don’t like it, so it should be illegal”. Please tell me you have more grey matter than what your post indicates. How do you justify telling the people what they can and can’t put into their own bodies? How do you justify making a plant illegal? You say the science is “tenuous”. Ummm… it’s not. You might want to do a little more reading.

        Nothing is more pathetic than ignorance, except maybe ignorant people judging others and supporting unjust laws on the basis that they don’t share the same interests. You, Thomas More, are pathetic.

      • Valient

        In what way is the science tenuous? Marijuana is one of the most studied plants in existence, and all of the research has found it to help numerous illnesses. The tiny bits of research that have found possible negatives (usually through correlation, not causation) have all been disproven by larger, better studies.

        The main reason you don’t want marijuana legalized is to maintain a false superiority complex. You’re trash for supporting ruining the lives of millions for no reason.

      • MrPC

        “The immature need to alter their consciousness,” indeed. I assume your liquor and medicine cabinets are all bare, and you never go to church, listen to music or take a walk in the sunshine, right? What’s “immature” is your ability to recognize the ancient and very human instinct we all have to see the world in different ways, and to reduce our pains, whatever they might be.

    • rawcannabiscantgetyouhigh

      run on sentence award goes to you

  • Meme Sosoui

    “DEAcade.” Comedy gold.

  • joejoe

    “I deal in facts. I deal in science,”…
    well, here’s a fact, Mr Fairbanks:
    http://www.wakingtimes.com/2015/02/26/study-shows-cannabis-114-times-safer-than-drinking-alcohol/

  • G.Wilikers

    Now those would be some expensive rabbits! When you have to reach down to try to make a case built on the demise of rabbits, maybe that’s a case of too much panic too late. See, this is what happens when you get stoned and watch too much Monty Python. They should make a movie of this and immediately give it to Rifftrax. C’mon now, admit it, this is funny. Beware America, we had best be ready for the Lepus Junkies once the rabbits realize marijuana is a Gateway Drug!

    Establishing shot: A long shot of an older pick up truck driving wildly down the dirt road as it approaches the town.

    In the Town: the townsfolk are starting to notice the approaching pick up and the dust cloud it is raising. The townsfolk nervously talk among themselves. “Isn’t that the Barkles truck?” “Harv Barkles isn’t driving, that must be his wife Anna!” and so on.

    The pick up makes it to the town limits but doesn’t slow down as it heads for the nearest knot of townfolk. The pickup then hits the braks and skids up to the crowd, Anna Barkles jumps out of the pickup with a dirt and tear streaked face, her blouse is torn, and her eyes are wide with fear.

    “They’re coming. They’re coming!” Anna gasps out.
    “Who’s coming?” ask the townsfolk.
    “The Rabbits!! Thousands and thousands of rabbits and they are headed right here!”
    “What? Have the rabbits been irradiated by atomic bomb blasts and now they are monsters? Have they mutated into viscious, blood thirsty monsters? Are they going to eat out children?” the crowed of townsfolk are beginning to panic as well.
    “No!”, Anna screams, “It’s worse than than you think, THEY’RE STONED!!!!!”

    Somebody with artistic abilities, please come up with an appropriate shot of Bugs Bunny stoned off his gord. We’ll send the pic to the Utah State Legislature with a suggestion they use it for the State Seal.

  • Jean Anne Lewis

    What’s Up, Doc! I Believe Bugs Bunny Would Give The Legalizing Of Medical Marijuana In Utah A Thumbs Up! What Do You Think?!!!! :-)

    • khh

      ‘Ehhhhhh, could be!’

  • ted mishler

    Funny:-)
    I noticed a lot of bunny rabbits on the Denver South Platte River Bike trail, they would always seem to want to dart in front of my bike travel, they did not seem effected in any negative way, and now I see why they looked so happy, and contented…probably hoping I would share my stash of happiness with them:-)

  • freetheweed

    So just make it legal for humans and keep it illegal for rabbits.

    • Doc Deadhead

      Too funny! Those wascully wabbits.

  • HCV

    Is this “The DEA” or the new comedy central replacement for Jon Stewart. The Rabbits, think of the Rabbits, “Oh The Humanity”.

  • stellarvoyager

    Stoned bunnies? This sounds like something that came straight out of The Onion.

  • sourpatchkid

    This article proves how far they’ll go to try n give this plant a bad name n again make themselves look rediculous…..seriously…….

  • Closet Smoker

    But what about the baby bunnies!

    We won, they have lost. If this isn’t proof, then what is.

  • khh

    This is being picked up around the world. The Brits are certainly having their fun with it =>

    “Stoner rabbits will run amok if Utah legalises marijuana, DEA agent warns”
    –The Telegraph

    “Utah hears of danger of dope-crazed rabbits if marijuana legalised”
    –The Guardian‎

  • Silly Rabbit

    Sorted Rabbits …. You mean Silly Rabbits, don’t you?

  • Doc Deadhead

    Sounds like a perfect opportunity for the handicapped to go hunting to me!

    Wild game hunting for wheelchairs, I can see it now……

    • Peter Piper

      And if they have been camping that patch for a long enough time, you get a free buzz with dinner.

  • Peter Piper

    Weed and rabbits have been around way longer than the DEA.. By some feat of black Magic they managed to live all this time together without anyone’s help.

    By the way.. Deer also eat weed. As well as a few other animals..

    Now being that animals have an “Ingrained” instinct of plants they should and should not eat in the wild, maybe all mighty science may want to pay attention to that little factor..

    • Ricky

      All animals possess a similar endocannabinoid system to us humans. It makes perfect sense that they would consume it.

  • tatertaut

    Hmm, that’s all he could come up with? Wow. That is pathetic.

  • Sinclair

    Hahaha beware of stoned rabbits. Fairbanks couldn’t scare away a rabbit at a pot farm what a joke.Guess what fairbanks I can get within 5′ of rabbits in my neighborhood without them eating Marijuana. Maybe the rabit knew what a dick you are. Anyhow what a joke I am sure more than 1 rabbit has ate some Marijuana today with out them being unafraid of any person Did you ever stop to think that maybe the rabbit knows that prohibition is a joke and that the reasons for this stupid law are a bunch of lies?

    • Crazy Canuck

      As a man of science….I call bullshit. The THC containing bud is produced at the end of the branch. How would a wee little rabbit be able to reach the buds?

  • Matt

    The DEA and Cops need to back out of politics. Its not their place. They enforce the laws, not make them. We don’t care what they have to say about medicine because they aren’t scientists or doctors. But ya know what? Thank you Fairbanks for being so ridiculous. It probably helped to pass it through the committee!

  • Cyndysub

    I remember reading somewhere that Deer will wait until weed plants have started flowering before eating them. Drug Addict animals now.

  • Ricky

    The rabbit didn’t run because he likes the smell of pussy.

  • khh

    This will almost certainly have an honored place in the history of Reefer Madness. Poor Special Agent Matt Fairbanks. In the age of Google, he will be forever known as the DEA guy who warned everyone about stoned bunny rabbits.

  • Nathaniel

    His natural instincts to run were somehow gone?……Which school of science did this man graduate from?
    I have only spent a limited amount of time in Utah, so I can’t really speak to its constituents, but we can only hope that they are not going to be swayed by this BS.

  • kycountry

    I can’t help it……………bugs bunny……..also, can’t stop laughing…………..peace

    • khh

      ‘I knew I should have taken a left turn at Albuquerque!’

  • WMC

    I once fed a wild rabbit carrots every day for two weeks straight. After two weeks of feeding the rabbit carrots, the rabbit lost it’s natural instinct to run away. Hmmm.. I wonder why..

  • Stupid Marijuana does not release the thc unless it heated . http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1097/1097_01.asp
    Is your name even really written down ?

    • Paula

      Paula Hunt

    • Paula

      Mike Strum hey you are wrong, chewing on a bud of marijuana helps pain, better than my pain pills and releases anxiety and is healthier than any pill.

  • Traci Ford

    #WasteofSkin

  • Troy

    Christ on a cracker. Are you kidding me????

    Marijuana was the very FIRST cultivated plant. It’s been around for eons. I’m guessing the animals knew all about it, before humans decided to make it illegal. And legal/illegal… when did a plant have the power to be proven right/wrong???

  • Chris

    That rabbits dynamite

  • Rob

    I guess this clown special agent Matt Fairbanks has never heard of a rabbit proof fence.

    • khh

      One does not simply rabbit-proof marijuana with a fence, when stoned bunny rabbits are on the rampage.

  • Rob

    (NaturalNews) “Contrary to popular belief, the marijuana plant is a whole lot more than just a psychoactive drug that “stoners” use to get high. In raw form, marijuana leaves and buds are actually loaded with a non-psychoactive, antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, and anti-cancer nutrient compound known as cannabidiol (CBD) that is proving to be a miracle “superfood” capable of preventing and reversing a host of chronic illnesses.”

    So these rabbits are actually smarter than this clown special agent Matt Fairbanks.

  • michiganman

    I really needed a good laugh today and that sure did it. So damn funny………desperately funny. It shows the DEA is on the run and grasping at straws….ha ha ha ha ha ha ahhhhh.

    • Mike Y

      One has to wonder about the response of his superiors at the DEA about all this. They’re not necessarily all dimwits and at least a few of them must be appalled at these idiotic remarks, which can’t help but make them all look like imbeciles. Not that I’d shed any tears about that. I would encourage more of this, as I feel that scorn, ridicule and a generous helping of self-inflicted public humiliation will be more effective for ending prohibition than anything we could possibly say.

      • Mike Y

        PS – “What’s Up, Doc?”
        B’deah, B’deah, B’deah, Tha…Tha… Tha… That’s All, Folks!

  • Get real

    I guess it’s time for the Democrats to make a law banning stoned rabbits. Lets see if NJ will be first!

  • John Smith

    Please legalize marijuana or at least decriminalize it. How can alcohol be legal but marijuana is not? I am going to keep lighting up anyway. I get my dog stoned and he loves it. I’m sure the rabbits did too. I love all the politicians that act like they didn’t smoke in college. Liars. Bush did blow off strippers titties yet a little weed smoking in my house, by my lonesome is somehow a detriment to society. Also, the argument that all our teens will be zombies and stoners is ridiculous. Do you really think kids aren’t already smoking weed and drinking the booze from their parents liquor cabinets? I can tell you that they are. I was a teenager ten years ago and we were doing all the above…and guess what….marijuana was not legal anywhere when we did that. Portugal is a country that figured it out. Legalize everything. Do you really think that just because heroin is legal, everyone would start doing it? I wouldn’t. I know it is bad for me. WAKE UP AMERICA!

  • David

    Cool! At last a marijuana infused edible for those on a low cab diet!
    How many of those bunnies would I have to ingest to get buzzed?

  • David

    Maybe, just maybe those bunnies lost their fear of man because those growers were nice to them.
    A little bit of good weed can make a lot of new friends.
    What do you want to bet those bunnies now hate cops?

  • Lance

    I really like rabbits and they should not be getting stoned. Bad things can happen to rabbits when they are high like getting run over or stepped on by the DEA and what if they are stoned and don’t pay attention to the sky and a hawk, a black hawk government helicopter lands on them. Marijuana should remain illegal so I can keep making money off it otherwise I will have to go out and get a real job where they will probably drug test me.

  • David

    Obviously the rabbits were in possession of the marijuana. Why weren’t they arrested?

  • Gary Williams

    How can they expect to be taken serious or expect Respect when they make ignorant baseless claims continually?

  • newsies2

    Although many of the People who showed up at the Utah Senate hearing concerning the Medical Marijuana bill, and let this Politicians know that many People can’t wait another year for it to be discussed and reviewed, the Lawmakers and others like the DEA agent, made laughing stocks of themselves and Utah.

    One of the young Women, who was speaking about her experience of having to go to California and Colorado to get the possibly life saving medical marijuana treatments, and which by the way was putting her Cancer in retreat, was telling the main opponent of the bill, how many can’t wait till next year, because they don’t have that much time, to which he replied, nobody is going to die. They’ll either go out of state, or get it illegally. So here is a vocal opponent to the bill, actually admitting that some will get it illegally, so they won’t die. I thought I heard it all.