Apr 072012
 April 7, 2012

American Flag PotleafMarijuana doesn’t put you in strange hotel rooms doing things you’ll regret for the rest of your life. Marijuana doesn’t put you in the back of a police car singing Bohemian Rhapsody either. Only goodness comes from marijuana whether you use it or not, marijuana does not make you suck a d*ck. I’ll even go as far as to say marijuana heal; it helps with nausea, pain, nervous conditions, and a wealth of other things.

In fact, marijuana turns some into scientist. It’s that “when you see everything as a possible smoking utensil” syndrome. One becomes acquainted with the properties of vacuum, gravity, and air flow. Besides the art and science of creating smoking utensils smokers are full on chemist by figuring out how to breakdown the most beautiful plant in the world. I never knew the little residue in my bag had a smoking potential but yet someone, somewhere figured having a screen on the bottom of the grinder helps create kief and what about the other little stoner that created honey oil, needless to say but I still will “marijuana smokers aren’t all dummies”.

You may wonder why I start with all sorts of randomness, it’s because most military members already know all of this. In fact, prior marijuana use is probably in most military member’s experience. As I wrote this I wondered the significance of this but it turns out I’m not alone as its a Yahoo question already: Actual amount of marijuana use in the military.

Marijuana use in the military is quite common. In some relaxed environments, there have been mass busts due to a command-wide sweep (base pee test). Many of the busts that occur are for stuff harder than marijuana, but rest assured every single one of them is acquainted with pot, and not all of them good personal being separated are bad people (I just never got caught).

As people, we will abuse and do things no matter the consequences, so prohibiting the least of all evils really does more harm than good. In fact, people will lean towards the “legal” man made thing over the illegal god made thing more times than not. There’s a reason why synthetic marijuana is so popular and has been doing more harm than good to military personnel and youths.

When I joined the military I rarely drank beer or alcohol, in fact I frowned upon it (but that’s merely because I come from a family of alcoholics) but after joining I’m a fish out of water.

Let me give you a little pre-story relating to drug use in the military. Before I joined I met a group of stoners who were all in the Navy plus one meth-head in the Marine Corp. Daily we would smoke and enjoy life in Southern California, I was just a long haired sporadically employed poet hippy at the time and saw these guys had a steady paycheck and were pulling in the girls I wanted so decided one broke lonely night joining the military was what I was going to do. I was in the delayed entry program so had to wait 6 months, during that time the guys I was hanging with all got busted during a random command wide sweep. They were corpsman on a marine base and for some reason the hospital let them come and go while they were on “trial”. The command was fighting to keep them in but at the time the zero tolerance was taking full effect (and still is). As I was going in they were getting seperated out.

I shaved my dreads (so the man wouldn’t have the pleasure) before going in and joined the Navy on April 1.

Once you get off the bus in front of bootcamp the adventure begins. One of the first things they do is try and get any last confessions out, anything you didn’t tell them before that you think they might find out, it’s called “The Moment of Truth”. One of my things I didn’t tell them was marijuana related, I stayed strong and they never found out.

Bootcamp is pretty easy if you’re in semi-reasonable shape but you definitely appreciate downtime like watching a movie with your division. On one such occasion the RDC (Recruit Division Commander) brought in Friday. I thought it was some cruel joke having to watch the life I just left. Other moments of buddah awareness was during battle stations.

The Navy has mocked up ships and scenarios that get you ready in case you are on a boat (99 percent chance you will be, it’s the Navy). When performing these drills there’s a lot of downtime as everything and everyone takes a minute to prepare for a fresh batch of new troops. During one of the down times the petty officer making the announcements made a gurgling than followed it up with a sucking holding breath noise. We all looked around and smiled than he said “Those of you that know what that sound is, won’t be seeing that for awhile”, it was a bong noise in case you couldn’t figure it out.

The first 4 weeks were the most stressful as I watched individuals getting called out for failing the drug test we were given upon arrival. Now they drug test you before shipping you off, something about cost effective. We would whisper to each other about when was the last time you smoked or what was the last drug you did, knowing full on well anyone of us could get called out.

As the weeks pass I knew I was going to be safe. The first few weeks were scariest for me but not the most painful like for the cigarette smokers. There is no smoking period in bootcamp and for the first few weeks all smokers were coughing up lung cookies, running to and from the bathroom.

At my first school/command out of bootcamp I saw a lot of individuals go back to their old ways but I held fast waiting to see what the real deal was going to be like. During this time people were getting popped for ecstasy and rave associated drugs for some reason there have always been a lot of raves around me.

Its in the beginning of your military career you decide how serious you’re going to take it. As I saw people dropping like flies because they had a steady paycheck funding the party I saw a lot of other people creating a new party. The party as legal as possible party, I find it foolish but people will do more addictive and harder drugs just because they are out of your system by the end of the weekend. Besides the harder drug syndrome, people like me turn to drinking, I’m not immune to the asshole disease when drinking but I do handle it a lot better.

After finishing school I was stationed on the U.S.S Constellation based out of Coronado Island, Ca. where more partying and shenanigans were to be had. A close buddy stayed with me and my wife, he was from Riverside, Ca. close to home with a steady supply of excellent weed. Daily he would smoke and I would only do it on occasion.

My friend the super stoner from Riverside, Ca. was also a super sailor in his command. An overall badass employee if you will. The command loved him so much he got an early promotion because of things he did on a deployment. When they returned from overseas the command also gave him a specialty school which would further the command’s missions. Unfortunately, on his first day of school he did a bong rip in my apartment because a few hours later the base command had a u.a which included his school.

He came home that day with a look. He knew he had been had, chances are slim in a urinalysis. The pee tester doesn’t care how great you are, the pee tester doesn’t care who you are just what you’ve done. When your pee goes into a batch only a percentage of that batch gets tested, pee testing costs money. From that percentage out of each box if one of them pop positive than the rest of the box is tested. So if your jar is lucky enough to get skipped you better hope the ones getting tested are doing what they’re suppose to do to. If your pee makes it through these odds than consider yourself lucky, I do.

So that’s one example of what not to do.

When I did smoke I tried to do it during a long period of leave and in the beginning of it. Smoke the first day, clean my system the rest than worry like a motherfucker.

Close calls.

A couple times I smoked on a Friday and found my self in the line for a u.a on Monday. Those are the times you contemplate what your doing with your life and accepting if you get kicked out of the military its going to be for some bullshit, since smoking weed is way less hazardous than booze. The more time I spent in the less I did, marijuana is not that drug.

Narcs.

You have to worry about everyone in the military. One time during my “C” school I was hanging with some pretty cool dudes who turned out to be stoners (shocker). Anyways, we were all watching a movie when a higher ranking enlisted Marine asked for a smoke. One of the pretty chill dudes said yeah and handed him a pack of smokes. Turns out there were a couple joints in there as well.

As the night went one of them open the pack and realized there was joints in there than freaked out. Somehow they quickly found out the senior enlisted ratted them out and disposed of everything. The following day there was a command wide piss test, to no surprise most of those cool guys got separated. Perhaps another round of super sailors taken away for some dumb ass shit.

History

It wasn’t always like this. At one time High Times and rolling papers were sold on bases. Nancy Reagan and Just Say No did this. Zero tolerance and Schedule I drugs did this. The military’s attitude changed when a rash of accidents happen, drugs were to blame! Not people working 15 hours on a flight deck.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em

Funny little thing about all the people retiring, most of them of looking forward to getting constantly fucked up (don’t you think weed might be involved?) but the problem is when you spend 20 some odd years doing the “right” thing trying to do what is shown as wrong but isn’t, is.

Marijuana legalization/ medical marijuana is always a part of some service member’s consideration. Problem is on how loud you can be about it. Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of Captain America’s out there thinking they’re constantly doing the right thing by laughing at the stoner getting separated but there are the few and strong that feel bad for them and thank whatever god its not them.

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About miggy420

My name is Miguel. I figured I should introduce myself as an adult that shouldn’t need to be in hiding since I am not a criminal. I also have my own blog http://brothercanyouspareadimebag.blogspot.com/, where I put down some of my writings and odd ball shit I find on the internet. One love.
  • Alex

    That was a great post and I read everything twice. Thank you for your service and It was great hearing these amazing stories considering I too will be PJ in the Airforce!(Too bad I like the bud ;/)

  • XNavy Smoker

    They don’t want you to smoke weed because doing so makes you think. We can’t have people in the military that actually use their brains.. we wouldn’t have a military left!

  • SGT Joe Snuffy

    This summed up my experience to date in the army. I’ve enjoyed cannabis for the purposes of relaxation, creativity, and social interaction with my close friends since I was 17. I’ve got lifelong friends that are now officers and enlisted personnel that I still smoke with between drills, but on duty I don’t even discuss drug use with my closest deployment buddies out of an unspoken anxiety we share about it getting out. I’m currently in the reserves, so I know when my drill dates are, but I’ve had times going in where I was unsure if I would pass or not if I got called. Not a fun experience. To be brutally honest here, I deployed to Afghanistan and experienced constant IDF, multiple firefights, and personally took an IED blast to my truck during a mounted patrol. I do my job, my command loves me, and I made it to the NCO ranks ahead of schedule as a result. So those Captain America types (Probably POG’s) can, for lack of a better phrase, get fucked. But like you said, if my piss were to ever come up hot all I would get for my time spent in the service is a callous “get the fuck out” and I would forfeit my benefits I earned putting my ass on the line.

    Honestly though from what I’m seeing at least in the infantry, retention of quality soldiers is staggeringly low, because the good ones end up realizing they don’t need the bullshit. When you create an environment of stupidity, you’re left with those who HAVE to be there, instead of those that WANT to be there, and this will only serve to reduce readiness. The real question here is does lighting up on my own time affect the way I do my job? It does not. Every couple months there’s another soldier getting a DUI or other legal troubles due to alcohol consumption or popping for hard drugs they thought they could get away with, and became dependent on. Maybe if more people stayed in with some friends, sparked a J and watched Friday, the unit would be better off…but I ramble

  • DontJoin….trust me

    Great responses guys! I am in AF and yes, I LOVE that chronic! So relaxing, enjoyable…..SAFE :) I have 3 years until I get out…counting every day. I cannot stand this nonsense revolving around the negative stigma of this “drug”, its all lies and has been lies for decades. I will forever hail this glorious herb as a staple in my life :)