Mar 112012
 March 11, 2012

marijuana piss testHow To Pass A UA When You Smoke Marijuana

As a person who has been using marijuana illegally for over half of his life, I have had to adopt tricks and techniques to get by in the “real world.” One of the most uncomfortable situations is passing a pre-employment drug screening.

Now, I’m not advocating dishonesty with your employer but a urinalysis unfairly punishes weed smokers while cokeheads and meth addicts get a free pass since those drugs only show up in a urinalysis within 72 hours of use while marijuana can stay in the system for 30 days or more. I don’t smoke before work (usually) and it never affects my ability to perform the functions of my job, but after a long day, nothing sounds better then a big, green bowl.

First off, if you can just stop smoking for thirty days then do it. It’s the simple solution to this situation. However, sometimes you don’t have that much time to prepare so you have to improvise. I have had to take ten to fifteen of these tests over the years with a 100% success rate.

I just got a new job last week and had to give a urine sample for testing. There are too important elements when it comes to effectively passing: obtaining a clean sample and keeping it within temperature. We all have friends that don’t smoke and they are the best sources of clean urine. I’ve heard of people using the fake stuff you can order over the internet or buy at your local head-shops and passing but why pay for the fake stuff when you can get the real thing for free? I just have my buddy fill up a balloon or an unlubricated condom and seal it up. I then drive strait to the facility with the “container” of urine on my dash with the defrost on to help keep the temperature high.

This is where it can get tricky. Since you are just taking a pre-employment screening, they cannot search you, so I “hide” the “container” in my underwear and bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my shoe. I then carefully walk in to the facility and register. When they call me to take the test, they usually ask you to remove all items for your pockets but I am sure to keep the nail clippers in my pocket. Once they close the door, I use the clippers to clip a hole in the “container” and fill up the cup. I then empty the remaining “sample” into the toilet and hide the empty “container” in my shoe.

I don’t like to have to do this and if there was an easier way I would use it. However this is the world we live in and until there is real change, I am forced to play this stupid game.

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About Jay Smoker

I have been smoking marijuana for almost twenty years and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. My life was turned upside down in 2009 after getting arrested and tossed in jail for being in the wrong state with legal medical marijuana. I got fed up, and I now devote all my time to ending this insanity.I am responsible for the technical side of this project, but try to chip in when I can, either with syndicated articles or original content.Follow me on Facebook and Twitter.Feel free to email. any questions or concerns. Peace!
  • Irish420

    Hey, I am looking for a job and am sure I will need to take a drug
    test because this country sucks, but I wanted to ask does your weight
    affect the amount of palo azul you need to use? Also the website
    suggests that you drink the tea 24-48 hours before you take the test but
    a lot of jobs only give you 24 hours to take it from the time they give
    you the paperwork for it, what is the shortest span of time anyone has
    drank the tea and than passed their drug test? Thanks guys soooooo much
    :)

    • irish420

      ANYONE?!?!?!?!?!

    • ed rose

      i drank palo azul 3 hours before my drug test and passed! it blew my mind ! i wish i had a ton of that stuff

  • steve cox

    where do you find that stuff in manitoba or saskatchewan canada

  • trina

    Hey i smoke a few days ago an hit one a few times before then but before all of that I was clean for 90 days I have a drug test soon an they stands in the bathroom wit me..so wat can I do to past?

  • jolly ranchee

    I had 1 ounce of clean urine found out it wasnt enough so i put 1 once of quick fix plus in with the clean piss will the combination work to pass a piss test for pre employment? Thanks guys and gals.

  • Forever 420

    I’ve been smoking for over two years on a daily basis and I was clean in 10 days. What I did was stop smoking and I drank at least a gallon of water every day. I also drank like a gallon of cranberry juice and apple juice. 3 days before my test,and the night before the test I took a shot of vinigar. I’m 5’10 and 167 pounds and it worked for me. I walked like 1 1/2 miles a day and swam in the ocean like everyday so I got a medium amount of exersize.

    • beastie boy

      That sounds like crap lol. I tried the Palo azul tea dot com stuff and it worked … needed some sugar!! But for 6 bucks it was well worth it..my test came back squeeky clean and I had smoked two days before.

      • Forever 420

        But if it really worked for its definitely worth the 6 bucks

  • Forever 420

    You sound like your trying to sell a product and make money. I’m trying to help stoners that don’t have any money to spend and need to be clean

  • Monica Brooks

    Do antibiotics work?

    • kayumochi

      do you have an infection? if so, the answer is yes.

  • Kesha

    Hello I smoked 5 weeks ago took a drug test yesterday and it came back clean

  • 1amStimULater1

    I use to have to take a DOT physical every other year & used vinegar to screw the UA. I understand that doesn’t work anymore. What does work is 4 gallons of water.With the last drink take a vitamin B-12 for color & creatine. 1 each

  • Lisa

    I’m a heavy smoker, but I exercise and drink plenty of water. I stopped smoking 3 days ago bc I found out I have a drug test if I get this job. I just did a green clean detox cleanse. Will it work?

  • unknown

    so two weeks ago i smoked some weed ,but i only took like three pulls ..drug test tomorrow wil it show?

  • sandi49er

    I have been an avid pothead for more than 20 years and have had to dread the horrid blind worlds concept of marijuana on too many occasions. I have failed a few tests and passed them as well. I have learned that I personally don’t have the guts it takes to bring another persons pee to the test. I have paid money for clear test products that have failed me. I have also quit for a month, but the way that I like best is to only smoke a couple days for two weeks while downing some water not too much mind you I still drink other stuff too. The whole key is just having to pee a lot and not over eating. What they look for is stored in your fat cells. Cleans those and in two weeks viola I am all good!

  • Countrygal2685

    I’ve smoked once (yesterday) in over a year. I’m fixing to go to the er for my back. Will it show up?