Mar 112012
 

marijuana piss testHow To Pass A UA When You Smoke Marijuana

As a person who has been using marijuana illegally for over half of his life, I have had to adopt tricks and techniques to get by in the “real world.” One of the most uncomfortable situations is passing a pre-employment drug screening.

Now, I’m not advocating dishonesty with your employer but a urinalysis unfairly punishes weed smokers while cokeheads and meth addicts get a free pass since those drugs only show up in a urinalysis within 72 hours of use while marijuana can stay in the system for 30 days or more. I don’t smoke before work (usually) and it never affects my ability to perform the functions of my job, but after a long day, nothing sounds better then a big, green bowl.

First off, if you can just stop smoking for thirty days then do it. It’s the simple solution to this situation. However, sometimes you don’t have that much time to prepare so you have to improvise. I have had to take ten to fifteen of these tests over the years with a 100% success rate.

I just got a new job last week and had to give a urine sample for testing. There are too important elements when it comes to effectively passing: obtaining a clean sample and keeping it within temperature. We all have friends that don’t smoke and they are the best sources of clean urine. I’ve heard of people using the fake stuff you can order over the internet or buy at your local head-shops and passing but why pay for the fake stuff when you can get the real thing for free? I just have my buddy fill up a balloon or an unlubricated condom and seal it up. I then drive strait to the facility with the “container” of urine on my dash with the defrost on to help keep the temperature high.

This is where it can get tricky. Since you are just taking a pre-employment screening, they cannot search you, so I “hide” the “container” in my underwear and bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my shoe. I then carefully walk in to the facility and register. When they call me to take the test, they usually ask you to remove all items for your pockets but I am sure to keep the nail clippers in my pocket. Once they close the door, I use the clippers to clip a hole in the “container” and fill up the cup. I then empty the remaining “sample” into the toilet and hide the empty “container” in my shoe.

I don’t like to have to do this and if there was an easier way I would use it. However this is the world we live in and until there is real change, I am forced to play this stupid game.

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About Jay Smoker

I have been smoking marijuana for almost twenty years and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. My life was turned upside down in 2009 after getting arrested and tossed in jail for being in the wrong state with legal medical marijuana. I got fed up, and I now devote all my time to ending this insanity.I am responsible for the technical side of this project, but try to chip in when I can, either with syndicated articles or original content.Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, StumbleUpon, and Digg and feel free to email. any questions or concerns. Peace!
  • http://thejamhole.com/ Mat Lee

    It’s sad that we have to do things to keep our jobs when we are all contributing members of society.

  • Moma doc

    If you are appling for  job in the oil field, they WATCH you pee! If you want the job, you got to do it.
    Luckily I don’t work in the oil field!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=624764939 O-J McMinn

    a useful guide to beat an unnecessarily discriminatory test.Â

    • Sandy

      i use to just use water and add a drop of yellow food coloring,it always worked, just make sure the temp.is between 90-100 f. put a temp strip on it and good to go.

  • James

    I’ve used Certo Sure-Jell  for the past 15 years and have passed every UA i’ve taken for employment,,  can be bought in any cookin section in any grocery,, and it works for me..Just make sure its the gel and not powder,,,

    • Jesswb3a

      Sounds efficient. How much do you use, when do you take it, etc.

    • shockwave

      How long do you take it before the test and how much? How much water do you drink with it and how long before the test etc? Please answer. Thanks!

    • shockwave

      How much and how long before the test etc? Do you drink a gallon of water with it etc??

    • chelsea

      How soon before the test do you use it?

  • Deadogrowling

    drinking a gallon of water 2 to 3 hours before you go take your test works too.  i call it studying

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dani-Hale/1542724034 Dani Hale

    I bet more people would be employed in this county if these tests were not required.

  • Mel

    Here’s How To Pass Any Drug Test In Just 1 Hour, GUARANTEED!!
    http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-pass-a-drug-test-in-1-hour-guaranteed

    • hargenmyer taintshires

      Horseshit

  • smokerforyears!!alwayspass

    For years I have used vinegar to pass my drug tests. I hate using it I am able to pass the craziest of panels when it comes to ON THE SPOT results. The ingredients of this NASTY solution is simple. Peanut butter, vinegar and water. Eat straight peanut butter (PB) off a spoon or on one peice of bread (make sure u eat enough to coat ur stomach, or u will puke), then pour 1/2 cup of vinegar (4 oz or 3 normal sized shot glasses) and in between mouth fulls of vinegar eat more PB and chase with water (cold) and repeat until all vinegar is gone. keep drinking water until you urinate clear (about 30 min) then drink anything of your choice to get the color of your urine back. (normally I drink tea or my daughters juicy juice, after I urinate once) then go and take your drug test. GUARENTEED PASS!!!

    • Nimue

      12 years of my life is on da line dis week
      Guaranteed it works I know the vinegar work
      But pb
      Confused
      But I’ll try it

      • trying to work

        did it work

    • shockwave

      Can you be a little more specific on when you should drink the vinegar? I mean how long before your test etc? Please answer. Thank you very much!

    • bob and weave

      Are you just clean after you piss the first time or clean for good

  • Milwtown

    what if they do a swap test

    • mike

      drank water move it in yur mouth like yu would mouth was make sure the water is really cold do it for 2 hours be for the test

      • anon

        and use the whitening mouthwash (with hydrogen peroxide) like every 10-15 minutes or so about an hour before your test and then right before you go in. and hold the swab between your teeth instead of cheek and gum. i passed and i smoked the night before. i also used the mouthwash immediately after smoking. brush the shit out of your teeth.

  • mmjmom

    That’s a big “if” “if you can just stop smoking for thirty days”

    • mike

      that is mainly for pills

  • Whitney Leachman

    Certo DOES NOT work if being sent to the LAB!

  • CleartestDOTcom

    I was applying for a job at bank of america and they were drug testing and I purchased the urinator and synthetic urine from cleartest dot com. The main reason I ordered from them is they talk to you if you call them and they have a great reputation.

  • bigwill9025

    I passed 2 at home drug tests last week. my test was on thursday and they sent it to a lab in kansas. when would the company call me if i did not pass the pre employment drug screen? or would i b good because i passed the at home tests?

  • thc free

    in texas, synthetic urine is illegal. try u-are-n.com. natural and legal.

  • Boots

    It is very unfortunate that things are like this for us smokers HOWEVER my husband went to take a UA for a job and he was taken to a bathroom with the person giving the UA—this person instructed my husband to remove everything from his pockets, remove all his clothes down to his undies and was his hand twice—so trying to find anything is not working anymore–he had quite smoking more than a week ago and bought a product from the head shop and drank nothing but water for 5 days before the UA—before he drank the product in the AM I gave him a UA at home and it was negative—-the UA that he took for this company came back undetermined—I personally have taken in the pee from someone else—just thought I would let ya’all know they are getting smarter—-Totally sucks that our society is the way it is but the only sure way to pass is to stop!!!! I hate the thought of having to stop I am 56 yrs. old and have smoked for many many years!!

    • Shayne

      They shouldn’t be allowed to do that to someone.

  • Meghan

    I have to take a test in 2 days time, and have smoked as recently as this morning, my main concern is as you mentioned above, keeping it at temperature…I have thought about a “hand warmer” packet, or do you think that would keep it too warm?

    • angel82484

      taking a test for females is alot easier than for a male. number 1… find a donor/friend that doesnt smoke and collect a sample of urine. number two… get a condom and make sure you wash it out really good so there is no lubricant/powder. number 3… put the urine inside the condom and then tie it. give it enough room to move around. number 4… insert the condom in your vigina. this is a little tricky. if you didnt allow enough room it could burst. take your time…it’ll go in. took me about 5 mins. this way it stays at the temp of your body. you have clean urine, and you don’t have to worry about them searching you. most clinics don’t supervise unless it’s like government. passed my drug test with flying colors…. 3 times and was still able to continue smoking… good luck!

    • http://www.facebook.com/marcus.diddens Marcus Diddens

      Handwarmer is fine bro!! I’ve always used one.. you’re using synthetic urine right??

  • angel82484

    This worked for me!!
    taking a test for females is alot easier than for a male. number 1… find a donor/friend that doesnt smoke and collect a sample of urine. number two… get a condom and make sure you wash it out really good so there is no lubricant/powder. number 3… put the urine inside the condom and then tie it. give it enough room to move around. number 4… insert the condom in your vigina. this is a little tricky. if you didnt allow enough room it could burst. take your time…it’ll go in. took me about 5 mins. this way it stays at the temp of your body. you have clean urine, and you don’t have to worry about them searching you. most clinics don’t supervise unless it’s like government. passed my drug test with flying colors…. 3 times and was still able to continue smoking… good luck!

    • CB

      How did you get the urine out of the condom ?

      • http://www.theweedblog.com/ The Weed Blog

        From the article above:

        “bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my(your) shoe”

      • puffpuff

        I stopped smoking weed about 2 weeks before I even got the interview. I kinda knew I would get the job offer, then she tells me i have to take a nicotine test monday and i smoke a pack a day.. This is for a high paying postion at a hospital who has a policy on not hiring smokers. Not sure if they will be testing for weed. I have selected your method to pass the test. Ill post my experience.

  • Anonymous

    Nice brother first very informative to help pass :) im in a situation now where im 48 hours from a test yikessss no warning ! lol but you were helpful. And props on that last line about helping others with meth and cocaine substance abuse way to look out for your fellow brother #youareamench

  • mike

    dranking a small cup of dental cleaner (efferent) for slim people will pass a drug test it stays in your system for 4 hours… i had done it plenty of times its nasty but it works

    • Shayne

      You could drink a gallon of gran berry juice and 2gallons of cold water

  • Harry

    All you gotta do is dip your finger in some bleach take it out let it dry and do It again like 5 times and than when you take your test put your finger in your pee while your taking the test an swish it around for as long a it take to fill up the cup your test will be clean it even works when someone’s watching you just don’t let them stare at your dick while you doing it

    • Mike

      I call BS. Not only did I fail, I RUINED my 2nd favorite pair of pants……Thanks a lot Harry!!!!

  • anonymous

    I am an every day high potency marijuana smoker. I drank a little over two cases of water in a week. (about seven to nine bottles a day for seven days) About fifteen minutes ago I passed my at home drug test!!! Screw what everyone says I am 5’7 and 170 lbs and all it took after smoking daily (the good stuff) for fifteen years was good old H2O!!! In the morning I will drink gatorade right before I go in and I’m very sure I will pass tomorrow. I did last time. :)

    • wondering

      Did you quit smoking for the 7 days?

  • scared2013

    help, I was informed u had a supervised drug test Friday, I took yesterday, two hours before I drank a gallon of water two hours before with two packets of certo in it and five minutes before that I drank dour shots of vinegar, well prior to that I took 3000 mg of niacin and cranberry pills.. Sunday late I also took four shots of vinegar.. My pee was clear when I went which is ok for me, than also Sunday evening I passed atones and the hospital had me on saline for three hours.. Will I pass the test?

  • scared1983

    I quit smoking for two days but a frequent niacin user and I took two days worth of seven day detox plus cranberry juice a half bottle of vinegar and than a gallon of water and two packets of certo, I pee clear will they detect my thx levels help

    • Jack S. Klotzner

      most of the time if you pee clear they will classify it as being diluted so you want to make sure you urin has color or they will most likely fail you for alleged dilution i could be wrong but every test i had to ever take they told me upfront if it is clear it will be an auto fail

  • dan

    if I smoked last night and drank a hole bunch of water during the day but didn’t drink none the day of the drug screen what are my chances of passing I weigh 133 and I am 5’9 WILL I PASS

  • Concerned

    As soon as the powers that be come up with a test that tells them if your hi on the job then I’ll concede them the right to piss test employees, till then right wrong or indifferent they have no right to even ask the question much less require the test. Thank you insurance companies for turning this into a police state. Fuckers!

  • beatboxbaker

    I know how to get clean in one day. It takes dedication but I have beaten every drug test this way. Drink two.gallons of pomegranate juice, 1200 mg of cranberry pills, 500 mg of niacin, one gallon of water, crank your heat to 90° and sleep wearing a sauna suit or trash bag. Wake up and run2-5 miles. You will be clean and most likely lose several pounds.

  • joseph

    i have a test on monday i need to pass its an at home test what should i do..i am not looking to buy anything either

  • Eva

    I am female, can I use clean male urine?

  • Justin glary

    One major problem that employee drug tests pose for marijuana smokers is that they can still detect the use of marijuana even six weeks after use.whether you had one joint or you smoke three times a day, the same positive result is going to be flagged!

    Urine Clear

    • LindsayAnne

      That’s a lie… I smoked habitually and stopped 3 days before an employee drug test, and passed. I exercised and drank a lot of water. THC in your fat cells is like hair dye molecules in your hair… the more you wash it, the more color flushes out. The more water you drink and pee, the more the present THC flushes out. Your metabolism is one of many variables when it comes to THC staying in your system. If they can detect the use six weeks prior, then they must have just had a crush on me. That was it? Wasn’t it? That’s the only explanation to me passing, if that’s the case.

      • al

        hi, ive stoped smoking weed for 30 days and was a heavy smoker before that. ive been drinking a lot of water. I have a urin test tomorroe at 10 am. you guys think I can pass or I need to do more. help please

  • http://www.facebook.com/antdipy Dee ‘Antdipy’ Carlson

    how can I pass a urine test for marijuana for a probation officer in less than 24hrs

    • Anon321

      You can’t.

      • anonymoussavior

        Can to. Detoxify kits, water, water pills, water plus b 2 vitamins, cranberry pills n juice, and water n gatorade plus exercise all can. Just sayin.

  • darroll73@gmail.com

    Hey I have to do a re test and they make me drop my pants and boxers to my knees and lift my shirt to my chest I tried the drinks and they don’t work so what do I do I have 1 week to take another test

  • AJ

    I have a drug screen and physical coming up now I have made a phantom pocket on the inside of my pant leg and use a hand warmer to keep it warm and it works that way. But this time I will be having a physical and a drug screen want to know if the same process will work since they will have to check for a hernia. If I have to drop my pants they might see my hidden pocket.

    • aj

      Alright I have a full proof plan if you don’t want to stop to clean out. First I used Quick fix that can b sold at your local head shop I used the synthetic urine and I passed. I saved the bottle because its small and has a temp gauge on it. then got another call a couple days later didn’t have any money to go buy quick fix so I had someone clean pee in the same bottle I got when I bought the quick fix went out and bought some hand warmers and just like that passed 2 test in one week and I never quit smoking. If you have a pre employment physical you will have time to yourself for a few mins to get dressed in a gown so if you make a pocket on the inside of your jeans like i did they wont b able to see anything. I used duct tape and made the pocket a couple inches down on my thigh on the inside of my pant leg make the pocket so the bottle doesn’t get stuck on the tape

      • Buddy

        I’m going with your method. Ive done this many times in the past. I failed a test before when i strictly used the detox drink an hour before the test. I followed the directions to the letter and still failed. Anyway, the hidden bottle with clean piss is the best!!! I also have a physical when i have to take the test too and I’m worried that they’ll want me to drop my pants. I just don’t know how things will go down so i want to be prepared for anything. I tape two hand warmers (from Wal Mart) to a small 3 oz bottle of clean pee i received from someone to keep the temperature between 90 and 100 degrees because that’s the range that the cup reads. Right before I go in, I test the temperature with a thermometer that i bought from Wal Mart for $3 to ensure that its in the needed range then put the bottle in my crotch to adjust to my body temperature. If the pee is too hot, dont worry, just put it in your underwear and it will come down naturally, just dont wait too long to take the test. i also bought 10 THC tests (from the Dollar Tree for a $1 a piece), to test the urine just in case. i like your idea to make a pocket on the inside of my leg. I’ll have to work that out someway. Thanks again for your story and to anyone else needing help!!

      • anita

        Your plan sounds good. Im going to try it. How much is the synthetic urine?

  • Rockinreba

    I haven’t smoked anything in 2 weeks then I took 2 hits and I gotta take a drug test in 6 days what can I do to make sure I am clean?

  • shortstuff

    i had a pre-employment test this morning (monday) at 8am, freaked out something silly all weekend as i only found out about the urine test friday evening and had smoked 2 blunts on thursday night. After heaps of research i decided to drink as much water as possible and fatty foods, also i purchased magnum detox watermelon drink and drank it 3 hours before test. Passed with no worries! Do remember water+detox drink (you must gollow instructions for them do work their magic) and you’ll pass your test with flying colours NO DOUBT!!
    Thank me later :D

  • derek

    Instead of focusing on needing a clean sample that’s the right temperature, you can always just do a drug detox right beforehand. It only takes an hour to detox your system and it allows you to test clean with a 6 hour window. It’s a lot easier just to take a detox and know that you’re fine, than worry about a ton of other factors. This is the detox I recommend: http://passadrugtest.com/urine.html Try it out and let me know what you think.

  • shorty43

    How do I pass a piss test for a probation officer within a week?

  • kmc

    I have not been smoking for 6 weeks now and no one around me uses and I still failed a drug test how do I get clean i have been on daily detox goldenseal root drinking gallons of water and this process is just driving me up the wall. i have done two self drug test before i went in and both were negative. Do the detox really work in a six hour window or is that a myth? What do i do I’m completely stumped????

    • mubarakwasframed

      If you really haven’t been smoking for 6 weeks, the continued detox drink might be doing you more harm than good. Some labs test for masking chemicals or other irregularities, and will automatically flag your sample as positive if any of those show up. The THC should be out of your body on average after 30 days.

  • o

    i been smoking for more than 30 years but next week i have to take a piss test for the job of a life time. i have used my son pissed and always passed even when they tried a surprise piss test .but the last to weeks i havent smoked and iam dying for a blunt. does anybody have any idea if i would pass the test

  • wendo

    I’ve been smoking almost everyday for the past 5 yrs I used weed to replace my addiction to cigarettes. Well I’m trying to get a better job and I found out they just do a pee test I have about a month before I will have to take my test….I have quit but what else will help me???? Do I stand a chance.

  • Sandi

    Help,
    I have to take a drug test on tuesday for home confinement, what can I do? I’m freaking out, pacing back and forth pulling my hair out. Help..

  • dantor
    • searchingforinfo

      Hi, i’ve read this information and wonder if you had smoked recently before taking and passing your test

      • barry

        Im a daily smoker of the best shit around and I recently had to take a drug test for probation and they send your sample to the lab. I’m 5″7 165 pounds. I quit smoking 72 hours before the test. The first two days I took flushing vitamins and drank water and on the day of the test I woke up at 6:00 am and took 4 aspirin and started drinking water constantly until I was urinating every 20 min. and the urine was totally clear, by then its about 9:30 so I take a multivitamine to put color in my urine after about 3 more pisses my urine has color, still you have to keep drinking water up until the test. By this time its 11:00am. I’m off to see the p.o. right off the bat she says I will put you on call-in (not to report) if you can pass a urine test so I went to the bathroom supervised by a man I pissed in the toilet a little bit before pissing in the cup (mid-stream).I was nervous for three weeks until the paperwork came in the mail saying all I have to do was call-in once a month. p.s I didn’t eat anything the day of the test. Oh by the way I think what I did on the day of the test is what made me pass not the two days prior but what the hell it worked.

  • mike

    my drug test is in alberta i live in ontario i have to fly there can i get my friend to pee in a balloon on the 28th then fly out west with it then do my piss test on the 29th will the urin still be good or not please email me

  • Drug Testing Consultant

    Never worry about passing any drug tests again. This information will defiantly help when it comes to random drug tests.
    http://www.passanydrugtestfast.com

  • 420 All Day

    This information will definitely help you pass any drug test out there.
    http://www.passadrugtestfast.com

  • Sandy

    Any suggestions for passing a hair follicle test for pot? Haven’t smoked for 6 weeks, two UA’s came up diluted. Now I may have to do a hair test.

  • Jeffery

    This worked perfectly for me:

    http://tinyurl.com/qgopgyk

  • Dana

    Smoked two hits 7 days ago & I just took a urine drug test today for a job offer. I’m 5′w & 108 lbs will I pass? I took Gatorade 2 days before the test & a pill of l-carnitine the day before!

    • clearance

      I take tests on every job i do and have for over 20 years. Its best to be clean. Then no worry.:) But I won’t say what I think about that.

      The old saying is 30 days if you were serious about it. For some that might not work. For you I can’t say. Probably ok. Your allowed 50 parts per ml I guess.

      Get a test kit and test yourself before hand. Then you will probably know.

      If this was legal then nobody would haft to worry about it anymore. We are playing the game right now so the worry must be as it is. We are to beg. And we do beg. It turns my stomach. I don’t beg too well. Sorry.

  • Nana

    i smoked about 4 weeks ago, but i only took 2 hits of the bowl, will i be able to pass my urine test tomorrow?

  • Henry Lj

    I smoked before my drug test like 7 hours prior and passed you ask why because i have a fast metabolism. i can eat food step on scale gain wieght walk to mail box and lose wieght. i eat costantly and wiegh 160-165. i go to sleep and wake up lighter after??? but i found out there not testing for thc exactly there testing for metobolites or the chemical breakdown of thc which is why thc can be tested positive for if youve taken ibuprofen becuase the metobolites are so similiar. SO basically if you wanna pass dont be fat itll be harder sorry no munchies for you. thats due to a slow metobolism which is why your retaining fat due to inactivity in youth/life. Fact thc stores in fat cells that why we make weed brownies so well!!! the thc bonds with the butter/oil/fat. so work out and play hard and youll be clean becuase that activates your metobolism but dont eat and sit eat first than play.

    • james

      same : ) glad to hear im not the only one lol im 510 and 145lbs passed in less than 12 hrs

    • T 420

      I have a drug test tomorrow Around 2:30 I have been drinking water cranberry and I’m gonna throw a shot of vinegar in plus exercise I’m not fat and I want to know what else I can do

      • josh

        Did u pass?!!

  • Slick

    I have a test coming up in about a week or two and have stopped smoking. So i have around 10-15 days to prepare. Any key pointers to pass this?

    • james

      run, sweat you will pass no problem