Mar 112012
 March 11, 2012

marijuana piss testHow To Pass A UA When You Smoke Marijuana

As a person who has been using marijuana illegally for over half of his life, I have had to adopt tricks and techniques to get by in the “real world.” One of the most uncomfortable situations is passing a pre-employment drug screening.

Now, I’m not advocating dishonesty with your employer but a urinalysis unfairly punishes weed smokers while cokeheads and meth addicts get a free pass since those drugs only show up in a urinalysis within 72 hours of use while marijuana can stay in the system for 30 days or more. I don’t smoke before work (usually) and it never affects my ability to perform the functions of my job, but after a long day, nothing sounds better then a big, green bowl.

First off, if you can just stop smoking for thirty days then do it. It’s the simple solution to this situation. However, sometimes you don’t have that much time to prepare so you have to improvise. I have had to take ten to fifteen of these tests over the years with a 100% success rate.

I just got a new job last week and had to give a urine sample for testing. There are too important elements when it comes to effectively passing: obtaining a clean sample and keeping it within temperature. We all have friends that don’t smoke and they are the best sources of clean urine. I’ve heard of people using the fake stuff you can order over the internet or buy at your local head-shops and passing but why pay for the fake stuff when you can get the real thing for free? I just have my buddy fill up a balloon or an unlubricated condom and seal it up. I then drive strait to the facility with the “container” of urine on my dash with the defrost on to help keep the temperature high.

This is where it can get tricky. Since you are just taking a pre-employment screening, they cannot search you, so I “hide” the “container” in my underwear and bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my shoe. I then carefully walk in to the facility and register. When they call me to take the test, they usually ask you to remove all items for your pockets but I am sure to keep the nail clippers in my pocket. Once they close the door, I use the clippers to clip a hole in the “container” and fill up the cup. I then empty the remaining “sample” into the toilet and hide the empty “container” in my shoe.

I don’t like to have to do this and if there was an easier way I would use it. However this is the world we live in and until there is real change, I am forced to play this stupid game.

Magic Detox

About Jay Smoker

I have been smoking marijuana for almost twenty years and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. My life was turned upside down in 2009 after getting arrested and tossed in jail for being in the wrong state with legal medical marijuana. I got fed up, and I now devote all my time to ending this insanity.I am responsible for the technical side of this project, but try to chip in when I can, either with syndicated articles or original content.Follow me on Facebook and Twitter.Feel free to email. any questions or concerns. Peace!
  • j poppa

    Put the condom up against your skin in really tight long underwear, under on side against your ball sack a hour before the test, it will be perfect body temp by then.

  • Scott Eaton

    Dip your finger or the end of your shirt in Bleach then put it in the sample

  • Harry

    How many days in advance can you collect a sample and then warm it up the day of? I can’t collect for someone prior too only time I can see them would be the day before

    • Shannon Fitzpatrick Morgan Gam

      it can last for at least a week, my son keeps his in the fridge intill he needs it. then brings it back to room temp under warm water. to make sure it is body temperature keep it under your arm pit on your way there. good luck

  • Harry

    And it is possible to fail a test w more then 30 days clean… I’m 130 lbs and it surprised me not passing….

  • Dan

    I’m worried, my college is testing and if I test
    possitive, my parents drop me off, I have been clean for a month and a
    half, but I just smoked today, and don’t know if I’ll test possitive. I
    smoked 1-2 times a day for a year. The test is next week I think, will I
    test possitive? A friend of mine has a trick of his own, he splits a
    big gob into the container and mix it a little, he told me that works. I
    also excercise 5 days a week in the gym, and I drink a lot of water
    daily. I weight 160 pounds and I’m about 5,9. I’m a little over weight
    but very healthy in terms of excercising. Can you guys help me?

    • Dan

      Can some one please respond, I’m freaking out here?!

      • Anon

        Take my answer with a grain of salt; I only have a cursory knowledge of the body and how weed acts on the body.

        Cannabis contains hundreds of cannabinoids, but THC—tetrahydrocannabinol—is the main chemical, if not the only one, that is the active chemical that causes a high. Urine tests, I presume, check primarily or even only for THC metabolites, THC-COOH. Cannabinoids binds to fats, and it’s possible that THC (and other CBD’s) and certain metabolites bind to your body fat, in which case exercizing helps burning fat, possibly fat with cannabis bound to it. I’m not sure about that, though. It’s also possible that some THC binds to the fats in your brain. I don’t know how long it stays there or how it leaves your system.

        I’m pretty sure that the liver breaks down cannabinoids including THC, and most likely the metabolites go directly to the urine. So the safest is to drink and urinate a lot (both, not one of these). Do, however, try to not overdo it the day on or prior to your test as it may cause the urine to appear diluted—as if tampered with.

        I hope you pass. Drug tests are fucking bullshit.

    • Ann

      Look up the sure gel method hasn’t failed me for a piss test yet!
      But takes a day or two. It’s in the baking isle of your grocery store. Mix with Gatorade and chug! Drink several glasses if water after I normally do a gallon if water. Do your own test day before. Just to check it’s negative and don’t smoke the few days before no matter the stress. Good luck lovely!

      • loveweed

        ill have to try that but im little nervous ive been smoking for 15yrs everyday

  • Andy

    I weigh 225 and I haven’t smoked in exactly a month today. But I drink 7-8 bottles of water daily. I have court in 2 days. Think I’ll pass?

    • Killaz

      You should.. no issues.. I have a test tomorrow and its been 3 days since I smoked. Ive been drinking water and cranberry.. and I’m actually about to get a DT for my self to see if I can. But with your situation.. your good :) just eat a lot of fast foot the day before and plenty of water. They test for the metabolite excreted from your fat cells… more fat cells, more water equals less detection of the metabolite.

    • ydc

      Ya

  • RM

    I weight 250 i am 6’3 and have been smoke free for a month. ive been drinking plenty of water and cranberry juice along with sweating a ton at the gym. i was a heavy smoker, and the place testing me does not use a lab just a cup with PH strips. What should i do to make sure i pass my test, the test will happen on the exact 1 month date smoke free.

  • jeff morris

    ive been a regular pot smoker for over 30 years i got a drug test in 4 days my buddy gave me a detox green clean herbal product will this work to pass my drug test and how long before your test do you have to use it im like 300 pounds also

    • jeff morris

      any answers

  • Selena

    I was smoking small amounts frequently (about 1 or 2 hits every day) up until 18 days ago. I haven’t been working out and have only really started drinking a lot of water in the past few days. My drug test is in a day or so. I’m a 5’6 130lb female. How likely do you think it is that I’ll pass?

  • Devena Jones

    Exactly what he said he the best method. …a safety pin on inside sleeve, totally undetectable

  • Softshooter

    I am 50 years old 5’6″ and about 175 lbs..more muscle than fat on my body…I am a daily user not in the morning but at night my way of winding down and calming my fibromyalgia is a big green bowl…. I am currently in the running for a great job and it is paramount that I pass this drug test…I will try to stop although it is not my wanting and I have read through this entire blog… currently I am drinking cucumber lemon water and started hot lemon honey water in the morning but I don’t pee as often as i think i should be… i just ordered the paulo azul and am hoping is comes fast so I can add that to my regimen…What I am asking is if I drink the tea and continue drinking the lemon water and I take an aspirin and vitamin B before the test do you think I will pee clean? My test is in about 2 weeks!!!

    • Goofybud

      Try the sure gel method. You can you tube it & it works 99% of time. Buy a box of sure gel, in baking isle (4.00) mix it in a bottle of gatorade or juice, chug it & drink couple glasses of water. Go to bathroom a few times & should be good. My husband passed no problem. We tested the method 1st & I highly recommend it. Good luck.

      • bill

        how long before the drug test do u do this

  • Rus

    Heres a little & cheap secret. Try the Sure gel method. It has worked for us, & e smoke a lot. We found this method on other sites & I would like to share w/all. I definitely advise pre-testing yourself 1st to see if this works for you.
    You need a pack of Sure Gel or Certo
    bottle of gatorade & water
    mix the sure gel / Certo in bottle of gatorade
    chug down mixture, drink couple of glasses/ bottles of water, pee a few times & test yourself in about 2-3 hrs. They have you tube videos that show the method. This worked for us, & wish you all good luck.

  • loveweed

    ive been smoking for 15yrs and i have to take a piss test i can pass a swab but a pee test is very hard to pass so its been stressfull and last time i took a piss test i used my moms pee and just a dot of mine and levels were off the charts i dont get that t thought the levels would of came back at least low but i have to go to these classes over weed lol so i have to sit with people that do crazy drugs because i failed piss test so very imbarresing to have to go to but they are going to test me every time now so i feel like weed is not considered a drug in my book and dont want to quit i love to smoke at nght and i sleep good when i smoke so does anyone know how i can still smoke and pass

    • alex

      How can I pass a swab test..?

    • T

      Don’t put any of your piss in… Just hide a sample of clean urine (a friend’s or family or whatever) and use only that.

  • Janell williams

    can someone help me i am 150 pounds and i have to take a druge test tomarrow at 2pm what can i do

    • EM Jay

      Drink a shit ton of water. no more than 2 gallons but you’ll probably end up drinking about a gallon. Your goal is to pee as many times as possible from the time you WAKE UP the day of your drug test, up until the actual UA. No fake pee, no carrying in other peoples pee, no chemicals or cleansing pills. WATER thats it. im on probation for a year and im a pot head and i smoke everyday all day lol. You need to pee about 10-15 times before the drug test. by the 2nd or 3rd piss ur pee needs to be clear. once you pee about 5-6 times clear, start drinking something like monster or coffee, tea might do it too, never tried it. coffee makes ur pee pungent and yellow, when they go to test you if your pee is clear it will most certainly pass, but it may raise suspision. My PO has made a fuss about it 3 times already so now i am making a big effort to make sure my pee is yellow but clean. my friend said he replaced water for monster, peed about 15 times and then went and took the test and passed with flying colors. it doesnt mess up ur ph, all ur chemicals and the temperature is good bc its actually ur pee! It really works, but you might feel a little light headed. if ur in a squeeze its worth it though!!

      • EM Jay

        basicaly whats happening in ur body is ur drinking so much water that it goes straight to ur bladder to get the excess water out of ur body and ur liver or kidney or whatever filters ur pee, doesnt have a chance to utilize the water to filter out things like thc and other wastes that usually go into ur pee. and that means it shouldnt have any thc in it. any questions hmu! it realy works just follow this guide!!

        • Ashley

          Hi. Had to join. I have an interview today. Know they will send me for UA since ive worked there before. But had a quick question. If after i need to go within 24 hrs. Will detoxing with water like u said still wrk. Being that its a time frame.
          _ashley

      • verde7

        Vitamins

  • ….

    i have drug test in 4 days if i dont smoke nuffin and drink a shit loads of water will i test postive or not?

    • T

      Your gonna test positive man. Get a clean sample from a friend or something… It take a around a month for the weed to clear out your system.

    • cobie

      Yes u will

  • Username420

    I weigh about 140 and im 5’7″ I just stopped smoking today at 4:20 how long until I can pass a drug test if I eat healthy and drink a shit ton of water???

  • stoner420

    I have a drug test in twelve days, I’ve been smoking for three years straight and the longest I’ve gone with out smoking has been a day, it’s been twelve days since I reported what can i do to come out clean

  • 420

    I’ve been smoking every day for 9 months will it work just to drink allot of water and some energy drinks?

  • fuckhead

    im twlve smoked twice last i smoked was friday but i dnt smoke much , at school we getting problems so k9 is cominh monday and they gonna drugtest us how can i get it out or am i already clean?

  • TBone

    So I posted on this thread several weeks ago inquiring about whether posters thought I would pass in my particular situation. I see this a lot on this thread, but very few success stories. I wanted to post a down to earth, non-gimmicky description of what I did:

    I got a DWI months ago and was court ordered to take a DDP course. You are given a RIASI exam on the first day. I’m convinced that 99% of the people that answer this test truthfully are recommended for a OASAS screening and assessment, which is exactly what happened to me. (Do yourself a favor and lie on this exam if you take it, unless you really feel you have a problem and need help). I did not realize until I made the appointment that I would have to submit a urine sample, so the best I could do was give myself 16 days to abstain from alcohol and weed. I did not want to be forced to get treatment as a result of a dirty sample. Addiction treatment = more money spent + placed into a government database…don’t trust the fucking government. Anyways, here’s the details of my situation:

    1. 6’3″ 205 pounds – I’m in decent shape but I have some belly fat, slightly above average metabolism
    2. Before abstaining, I smoked everyday of the week over the span of 2 1/2 months. I normally didn’t smoke more than 3 grams/week
    3. 16 days abstaining completely from weed before the appointment
    4. Every other day during 16 day period, I did a hardcore 30 min HIIT cardio workout. On the other days, I did ab-ripper X and a lighter cardio workout. I did not stop working out a few days prior as is typically recommended.
    5. Before the urine test, I took a large group of vitamins the night before and the morning before. In the morning, I drank about 8 glasses of water for dilution.
    6. Urine test was a 50 ng/mL cutoff, which is the typical level that these labs test for.

    I ended up passing with flying colors. If you combine working out like I did which sharply increases your metabolism (and fat burning where the metabolites dwell) with the dilution method, you should be fine if you give yourself about 2-3 weeks. I know not everyone here is going to be as in good as shape, but don’t believe these buffoons that say you need a minimum of 30 days to beat these urine tests. Don’t panic.

    • sbb3oo

      hey i need your opinion. so i smoke 2 night straight its about 3g worth. and that was 5 days ago. when do you think it will be completely out of my system. i exercise frequently (cross fit). and i think i have smoke the week before as well but only 2-3 pipes here and there on and off in that week. i just need to know when is the safe period to go and have a urine test. help?

  • T-weezy

    Try 1000 milligrams niacin and about 32oz of water. Do this the day of. The first urine will be the dirty as you’ll see it come out green or yellowish. After that bout the second or third you should be fine. Just hope they’re not testing for niacin which in most cases they don’t.

  • 420

    Niacin does the trick. I’m a true pothead been smoking for years. I’m on probation and niacin never failed me. I’ve passed test in 1 day using and I’ve passed drug tests of being 15 days clean. Naicin an water