Mar 112012
 March 11, 2012

How To Pass A UA When You Smoke Marijuana

As a person who has been using marijuana illegally for over half of his life, I have had to adopt tricks and techniques to get by in the “real world.” One of the most uncomfortable situations is passing a pre-employment drug screening.

Now, I’m not advocating dishonesty with your employer but a urinalysis unfairly punishes weed smokers while cokeheads and meth addicts get a free pass since those drugs only show up in a urinalysis within 72 hours of use while marijuana can stay in the system for 30 days or more. I don’t smoke before work (usually) and it never affects my ability to perform the functions of my job, but after a long day, nothing sounds better then a big, green bowl.

First off, if you can just stop smoking for thirty days then do it. It’s the simple solution to this situation. However, sometimes you don’t have that much time to prepare so you have to improvise. I have had to take ten to fifteen of these tests over the years with a 100% success rate.

I just got a new job last week and had to give a urine sample for testing. There are too important elements when it comes to effectively passing: obtaining a clean sample and keeping it within temperature. We all have friends that don’t smoke and they are the best sources of clean urine. I’ve heard of people using the fake stuff you can order over the internet or buy at your local head-shops and passing but why pay for the fake stuff when you can get the real thing for free? I just have my buddy fill up a balloon or an unlubricated condom and seal it up. I then drive strait to the facility with the “container” of urine on my dash with the defrost on to help keep the temperature high.

This is where it can get tricky. Since you are just taking a pre-employment screening, they cannot search you, so I “hide” the “container” in my underwear and bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my shoe. I then carefully walk in to the facility and register. When they call me to take the test, they usually ask you to remove all items for your pockets but I am sure to keep the nail clippers in my pocket. Once they close the door, I use the clippers to clip a hole in the “container” and fill up the cup. I then empty the remaining “sample” into the toilet and hide the empty “container” in my shoe.

This is where it can get tricky. Since you are just taking a pre-employment screening, they cannot search you, so I “hide” the “container” in my underwear and bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my shoe. I then carefully walk in to the facility and register. When they call me to take the test, they usually ask you to remove all items for your pockets but I am sure to keep the nail clippers in my pocket. Once they close the door, I use the clippers to clip a hole in the “container” and fill up the cup. I then empty the remaining “sample” into the toilet and hide the empty “container” in my shoe.

I don’t like to have to do this and if there was an easier way I would use it. However this is the world we live in and until there is real change, I am forced to play this stupid game.

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About Jay Smoker

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  2,885 Responses to “How To Pass A Drug Test When You Smoke Marijuana”

  1.  

    Hello I have a test to take next Tuesday how can I get clean ASasap

  2.  

    Put some water in the container, my brother did it and passed…

  3.  

    if you get caught cheating then it’s a refusal which is the same as you failed.

  4.  

    Anonymous l have a test Monday pls ASAP help me pls

  5.  

    My friend used Certo and passed, but that was an at home drug test. If you’re getting tested at a hospital or something than my guess is just drink a little less than a gallon of water a day, run outside or on a treadmill while wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants even though it’s already hot outside.
    Basically just want to sweat as much as you can for the next week.

  6.  

    Certo doesn’t work that is bullshit I know for a fact it don’t work

  7.  

    Grab a Quix fit kit at your local headshop. I paid $20. It’s synthetic urine, but they test for that shit now, so i just dumped the synthetic urine, and had my kid pee in the bottle. It comes with a temperature strip on the bottle, along with a heating pad, and a rubber band to strap the heating pad around the bottle. I umpire baseball, so I wore a pair of spandex shorts under my jeans, that hold my umpire ball cup in place. I just warmed the bottle up with the heating pad. The temp strip tells you where the temperature is, and tucked in the the pocket in my spandex shorts where the ball cup would be, emptied my pockets, dumped the clean piss in there, and i started my job. Three things you need: 1. Bottle with a temp strip on it.
    2. Clean piss from a friend, relative, etc. to pee in the bottle.
    3. Something to stash the bottle in. You can wear two pairs of socks, and stuff the bottle in between, or use a jockstrap and stuff the bottle in your nuts.

  8.  

    For all you who are fraking out and need a quick fix for your situation, I found a new thing they’re selling called, “Fast THC Marijuana Detox Kit (Extra strong)”. I’m not trying to pimp this product, they aren’t paying me anything, I just found it searching ways to clean up fast, and the reviews for this were pretty good. One dude claimed he passed after burning 11 hours earlier. Google it, and read the reviews. Hope I helped a few people.

  9.  

    ATTENTION ALL SMOKERS IN NEED OF HELP!!!!!! I found out by snooping through my parents shit they were going to drug test me a week ago. I had been smoking casually 5-6 times a week for a month. Also, the week prior to me finding out I was being tested, I faced a blunt a day along with a fat fucking zig zag the night before. So, I was screwed. HOWEVER, the past week I have been eating basically nothing but salads and healthy snacks, running twice a day and drinking nothing but water and I FUCKING PASSED. It had been six days since I had stopped smoking. So, MY ADVICE is fuck detox products, fuck GNC and fuck faking it, INSTEAD naturally flush your body with a near vegan diet, run a lot (or basic calestenics, you just need to fucking sweat) and drink a shit ton of water. I hope this helps somebody out, I know I’m happy to not be attending military school next year.

  10.  

    Before even reading this I been doing this for years except I heat up water in a Tupperware container and put the condom in that with the lid sealed and when I get to the facility I put the condom in my underwear…

  11.  

    I did the water in the urine and it came back positive….I was told to drink Apple cider vinger mix with water. That’s what I am going to try. I have another drug test next month so I am going to drink 8 bottles of 12oz of water and a table spoon of apple cider vinger.

  12.  

    All the detox liquids and apple cider vinegar it’s all b******* there’s only one sure way and it’s to use somebody else’s urine

  13.  

    I have to drop not at a job but probation wat can i use n they watch me too

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