Mar 112012
 March 11, 2012

marijuana piss testHow To Pass A UA When You Smoke Marijuana

As a person who has been using marijuana illegally for over half of his life, I have had to adopt tricks and techniques to get by in the “real world.” One of the most uncomfortable situations is passing a pre-employment drug screening.

Now, I’m not advocating dishonesty with your employer but a urinalysis unfairly punishes weed smokers while cokeheads and meth addicts get a free pass since those drugs only show up in a urinalysis within 72 hours of use while marijuana can stay in the system for 30 days or more. I don’t smoke before work (usually) and it never affects my ability to perform the functions of my job, but after a long day, nothing sounds better then a big, green bowl.

First off, if you can just stop smoking for thirty days then do it. It’s the simple solution to this situation. However, sometimes you don’t have that much time to prepare so you have to improvise. I have had to take ten to fifteen of these tests over the years with a 100% success rate.

I just got a new job last week and had to give a urine sample for testing. There are too important elements when it comes to effectively passing: obtaining a clean sample and keeping it within temperature. We all have friends that don’t smoke and they are the best sources of clean urine. I’ve heard of people using the fake stuff you can order over the internet or buy at your local head-shops and passing but why pay for the fake stuff when you can get the real thing for free? I just have my buddy fill up a balloon or an unlubricated condom and seal it up. I then drive strait to the facility with the “container” of urine on my dash with the defrost on to help keep the temperature high.

This is where it can get tricky. Since you are just taking a pre-employment screening, they cannot search you, so I “hide” the “container” in my underwear and bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my shoe. I then carefully walk in to the facility and register. When they call me to take the test, they usually ask you to remove all items for your pockets but I am sure to keep the nail clippers in my pocket. Once they close the door, I use the clippers to clip a hole in the “container” and fill up the cup. I then empty the remaining “sample” into the toilet and hide the empty “container” in my shoe.

I don’t like to have to do this and if there was an easier way I would use it. However this is the world we live in and until there is real change, I am forced to play this stupid game.

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About Jay Smoker

I have been smoking marijuana for almost twenty years and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. My life was turned upside down in 2009 after getting arrested and tossed in jail for being in the wrong state with legal medical marijuana. I got fed up, and I now devote all my time to ending this insanity.I am responsible for the technical side of this project, but try to chip in when I can, either with syndicated articles or original content.Follow me on Facebook and Twitter.Feel free to email. any questions or concerns. Peace!
  • Crabtree

    ok I got tired of all this confusion about Palo Azul Tea so I went to my FREAKIN DOCTOR and asked him (while getting my Xanax filled ) How is it that Tea made from the Bark of the Palo Azul plant could make people not show up positive for T.H.C? He said he had never heard of Palo Azul and then he researched on his laptop for a second and this is what he said..” Palo Azul contains negative charged alkaloids that draw out toxins with a positive charge such as THC , ( a negative charge pulls) .Similar to how an air ionizer uses a negative charge to pull the toxins out of the air.. Once the negative alkaloids enter the urinary tract system it bonds on to the toxins and changes their genetic signature ..making the toxins a different compound altogether now ,making them undetectable! , google it.. the fact that some cheap little natural plant from the rain forest can do all that blows my mind! I will post this again up top just so this “drug man” AKA (Magnum Detox Rep) doesn’t try to erase this post and trick you guys into spending a ton of cash on some chemical crap!

  • Thatdude420

    I’ve been smoking weed since I was 16. I’m 25 now. I shit you not. I had to take this drug test for this job I got and they told us it would be random. So, one lazy afternoon, bong rips, blunts, and cereals. The boom….boss called…buzzkill, I know. “Oh hey man, just letting you know drug test is tomorrow.” You see, weed stays in your fat. If you have a fast metabolism like me, you can do it too. I put on layers on clothing, and just sweat it all out. I put on a thrashbag first, it helps you sweat faster, and then I wore sweat shirt over it. Work out the whole night. Lots of water. That’s the key. Lots of water. I mean really, lots of water. I was chugging water the whole night, and then sweat it all out, and pee. You’ll notice it too coz your urine is gonna be clear, not yellow. Or you can just go to a sauna, if you don’t wanna work out and be beast like me. Rawr!!!!

  • Eddie

    I’m a male, 5′ 10″ and weigh 144Ibs. I last smoked 13 days ago and still have at least 2 more weeks until my test. I do light exercise daily and eat very healthy. Since my last time smoking I’ve chugged at least a little over a gallon of water daily. Oh, and I bought a at home drug test and passed with a faint (but present) line. It was negative. I’m still freaking out and continue to drink lots of water until I have to take my test. Anyone know if I’ll be okay if I stay on this track of clean eating, water and exercising. I’m going to incorporate running this week.

    HELP! Thanks.

    • Nicc

      Ya you’ll be fine drink orange juice and work up a sweat

  • Miranda

    My name is miranda. I’m 19 years old and I just started smoking frequently about 3-4 months ago. Not daily, but a few times a week. I’m going for my LPN (please don’t judge that I smoke while trying to become a nurse) I have never seen a problem with anyone who smokes but for some reason people frown upon doctors and nurses that do. Anywho, ALL nursing departments drug screen (piss test). Last night, I smoked for my “last” time for two whole years, seeing as how the LPN program is 2 years long and they have a drug screen every semester RANDOMLY. I guess my question is, is there a way around this to where I can still smoke occasionally AND pass all my drug tests?? I really don’t want to stop smoking for an entire two years…

  • Mike D

    I recently had a drug test for an upcoming job position and I had 3 days to stop smoking prior to taking the test. I bought the Magnum Detox 1 hour system cleanser from passdrugtestsfast dot com and it worked. Just make sure you get the right size for your weight because they come in 16 oz. and 32 oz. sizes.

    • Miranda

      Is this in reply to my post?? I’m about 110 pounds. Very slim