Mar 112012
 March 11, 2012

marijuana piss testHow To Pass A UA When You Smoke Marijuana

As a person who has been using marijuana illegally for over half of his life, I have had to adopt tricks and techniques to get by in the “real world.” One of the most uncomfortable situations is passing a pre-employment drug screening.

Now, I’m not advocating dishonesty with your employer but a urinalysis unfairly punishes weed smokers while cokeheads and meth addicts get a free pass since those drugs only show up in a urinalysis within 72 hours of use while marijuana can stay in the system for 30 days or more. I don’t smoke before work (usually) and it never affects my ability to perform the functions of my job, but after a long day, nothing sounds better then a big, green bowl.

First off, if you can just stop smoking for thirty days then do it. It’s the simple solution to this situation. However, sometimes you don’t have that much time to prepare so you have to improvise. I have had to take ten to fifteen of these tests over the years with a 100% success rate.

I just got a new job last week and had to give a urine sample for testing. There are too important elements when it comes to effectively passing: obtaining a clean sample and keeping it within temperature. We all have friends that don’t smoke and they are the best sources of clean urine. I’ve heard of people using the fake stuff you can order over the internet or buy at your local head-shops and passing but why pay for the fake stuff when you can get the real thing for free? I just have my buddy fill up a balloon or an unlubricated condom and seal it up. I then drive strait to the facility with the “container” of urine on my dash with the defrost on to help keep the temperature high.

This is where it can get tricky. Since you are just taking a pre-employment screening, they cannot search you, so I “hide” the “container” in my underwear and bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my shoe. I then carefully walk in to the facility and register. When they call me to take the test, they usually ask you to remove all items for your pockets but I am sure to keep the nail clippers in my pocket. Once they close the door, I use the clippers to clip a hole in the “container” and fill up the cup. I then empty the remaining “sample” into the toilet and hide the empty “container” in my shoe.

I don’t like to have to do this and if there was an easier way I would use it. However this is the world we live in and until there is real change, I am forced to play this stupid game.

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About Jay Smoker

I have been smoking marijuana for almost twenty years and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. My life was turned upside down in 2009 after getting arrested and tossed in jail for being in the wrong state with legal medical marijuana. I got fed up, and I now devote all my time to ending this insanity.I am responsible for the technical side of this project, but try to chip in when I can, either with syndicated articles or original content.Follow me on Facebook and Twitter.Feel free to email. any questions or concerns. Peace!
  • john

    I smoked last two weeks ago and i have a drug test tomorrow, is it most likely I will pass it? Im 5’5 and im 126lbs

    • sharron

      i pass my drug test every month because a mexican told me about Palo Azul Tea.. Palo azul is a natural plant only found in Mexico and central america..just boil it in some water and drink the gallon the night before your test and you will pass EVERY TIME… if you dont believe me …google it! The problem is Palo Azul is very hard to find…just dont get the cheap stuff because it wont be any good I get mine from Palo Azul Tea dot com (they have the exotic central american Palo Azul) and i find it to be a miracle! and they only charge like six bucks..

  • schoolgirlv

    im an 18 year old girl whose mom wants to drug test her. i started smoking senior year, she caught me the first week of summer, threatened me with a drug test so i stopped smoking all 3 months of my senior summer -.- that b*tch didnt test me all summer >:( so once i went off to college, first day i was already smoking. since then its been everyday at least 3 times a day. between breakfast lunch and dinner haha midnight too cx but anyways… i havent been going home as much as im supposed to. im supposed to go back down every other week so she can see how im doing because she doesnt trust me obviously but i keep not showing up. she got suspicious so she called me yesterday telling me to bring my medical insurance card because she is going to drug test me this weekend. I think shes going to take me to the hospital across the street from my doctor to have me get a urine drug test. I dont know specifically what day she is going to test me. not saturday because ill be at six flags and sunday we have church so maybe friday she is going to test me? i cant deny taking the test thats for sure. i mean i can because im 18 but it will look shady if i do. she said if i get caught smoking again and that test comes out positive, she will take my ass out of school, bring me back home (she doesnt care if i have classes) she’ll legit drop me out of school, and take away my phone so its not like i can call a friend and ask to stay with them -.- anybody have advice on what i can do for the drug test and my situation with my mom?

    • curvygirl420

      My mom tried to do the same thing to me. Odds are, you’re age of majority so technically she can’t do anything if you don’t show. But most of the time you can get by with school with just FAFSA and Student Loans and your parents don’t need to be involved. Worst she can do is call the cops on you, but then you have to get caught with it on you or while you’re high. I say, get a job, get your own phone and screw your mother. You’re an adult and what you do in your recreational time isn’t any of her business. And most medical insurance won’t cover a UA unless it’s court ordered and even then it’s unlikely. She’s probably just trying to scare you.

  • Tianna solano

    I smoked weed just yesterfay and I’m getting a drug test today I need help!!!

  • dot commercial driver

    i have to take a dot test with 9 days to clean up. i took one the other day and subbed it with a friends pee using hand warmers and such. the temp was fine but the amount was off, so as a result i failed automaticly. this is on my record for 3 years and to get returned back to duty i have to take a supervised test next friday. i need serious help for real. im so screwed. this is a dot lab test. help

    • rissii

      Water is your bestfriend, do noootttt smoke!