Mar 112012
 March 11, 2012

marijuana piss testHow To Pass A UA When You Smoke Marijuana

As a person who has been using marijuana illegally for over half of his life, I have had to adopt tricks and techniques to get by in the “real world.” One of the most uncomfortable situations is passing a pre-employment drug screening.

Now, I’m not advocating dishonesty with your employer but a urinalysis unfairly punishes weed smokers while cokeheads and meth addicts get a free pass since those drugs only show up in a urinalysis within 72 hours of use while marijuana can stay in the system for 30 days or more. I don’t smoke before work (usually) and it never affects my ability to perform the functions of my job, but after a long day, nothing sounds better then a big, green bowl.

First off, if you can just stop smoking for thirty days then do it. It’s the simple solution to this situation. However, sometimes you don’t have that much time to prepare so you have to improvise. I have had to take ten to fifteen of these tests over the years with a 100% success rate.

I just got a new job last week and had to give a urine sample for testing. There are too important elements when it comes to effectively passing: obtaining a clean sample and keeping it within temperature. We all have friends that don’t smoke and they are the best sources of clean urine. I’ve heard of people using the fake stuff you can order over the internet or buy at your local head-shops and passing but why pay for the fake stuff when you can get the real thing for free? I just have my buddy fill up a balloon or an unlubricated condom and seal it up. I then drive strait to the facility with the “container” of urine on my dash with the defrost on to help keep the temperature high.

This is where it can get tricky. Since you are just taking a pre-employment screening, they cannot search you, so I “hide” the “container” in my underwear and bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my shoe. I then carefully walk in to the facility and register. When they call me to take the test, they usually ask you to remove all items for your pockets but I am sure to keep the nail clippers in my pocket. Once they close the door, I use the clippers to clip a hole in the “container” and fill up the cup. I then empty the remaining “sample” into the toilet and hide the empty “container” in my shoe.

I don’t like to have to do this and if there was an easier way I would use it. However this is the world we live in and until there is real change, I am forced to play this stupid game.

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About Jay Smoker

I have been smoking marijuana for almost twenty years and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. My life was turned upside down in 2009 after getting arrested and tossed in jail for being in the wrong state with legal medical marijuana. I got fed up, and I now devote all my time to ending this insanity.I am responsible for the technical side of this project, but try to chip in when I can, either with syndicated articles or original content.Follow me on Facebook and Twitter.Feel free to email. any questions or concerns. Peace!
  • K

    You guys r sick

  • CSR420

    I have to piss tomorrow the 30th ive drank 2gallons of water by far it 1:00pm i was gonna drink 2-4 more before tomorrow morning ans take some complex b tomorrow too think i should be good?

  • amp123

    i have a job interview tomorrow at noon i haven’t smoked in 2 wks not sure if they are going to make me take drug test not sure what to do i don’t have enough money to buy any detox from smoke shop what can i take to pass test what can i take

  • Bob Johnson

    Can a woman’s pee act as a man’s pee?
    I weigh 214 lbs.
    Suggestions?

  • jah

    coconut or lamaw.

  • kris

    Alright so ive smoke a lot the last three years and ive recently stopped and have been clean for about a week or so and im just wondering if I have to take a pee test for job at walmart. Im wondering Iif drinking lota of ctanberry juice and water would help? Another thing ive been told to drink monster or vinegar would the acid in these liquids help me pass?