Mar 112012
 March 11, 2012

marijuana piss testHow To Pass A UA When You Smoke Marijuana

As a person who has been using marijuana illegally for over half of his life, I have had to adopt tricks and techniques to get by in the “real world.” One of the most uncomfortable situations is passing a pre-employment drug screening.

Now, I’m not advocating dishonesty with your employer but a urinalysis unfairly punishes weed smokers while cokeheads and meth addicts get a free pass since those drugs only show up in a urinalysis within 72 hours of use while marijuana can stay in the system for 30 days or more. I don’t smoke before work (usually) and it never affects my ability to perform the functions of my job, but after a long day, nothing sounds better then a big, green bowl.

First off, if you can just stop smoking for thirty days then do it. It’s the simple solution to this situation. However, sometimes you don’t have that much time to prepare so you have to improvise. I have had to take ten to fifteen of these tests over the years with a 100% success rate.

I just got a new job last week and had to give a urine sample for testing. There are too important elements when it comes to effectively passing: obtaining a clean sample and keeping it within temperature. We all have friends that don’t smoke and they are the best sources of clean urine. I’ve heard of people using the fake stuff you can order over the internet or buy at your local head-shops and passing but why pay for the fake stuff when you can get the real thing for free? I just have my buddy fill up a balloon or an unlubricated condom and seal it up. I then drive strait to the facility with the “container” of urine on my dash with the defrost on to help keep the temperature high.

This is where it can get tricky. Since you are just taking a pre-employment screening, they cannot search you, so I “hide” the “container” in my underwear and bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my shoe. I then carefully walk in to the facility and register. When they call me to take the test, they usually ask you to remove all items for your pockets but I am sure to keep the nail clippers in my pocket. Once they close the door, I use the clippers to clip a hole in the “container” and fill up the cup. I then empty the remaining “sample” into the toilet and hide the empty “container” in my shoe.

I don’t like to have to do this and if there was an easier way I would use it. However this is the world we live in and until there is real change, I am forced to play this stupid game.

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About Jay Smoker

I have been smoking marijuana for almost twenty years and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. My life was turned upside down in 2009 after getting arrested and tossed in jail for being in the wrong state with legal medical marijuana. I got fed up, and I now devote all my time to ending this insanity.I am responsible for the technical side of this project, but try to chip in when I can, either with syndicated articles or original content.Follow me on Facebook and Twitter.Feel free to email. any questions or concerns. Peace!
  • FLP

    Hi all! :)

    My stats are:
    H: 4’10
    W: 88 lbs
    Age: 19
    I smoked blunt and bowl out of a bong between myself and one other person last week (Wednesday), then I smoked out of a bong again with one other person last week Saturday, then another blunt between three people that day. Then same day hit a couple bowls between five people and then again I hit the bong with a few people last Saturday/Sunday morning. I took a break for five days and did a two days of the Master cleanse during that break. I smoked a bowl again last night. I don’t plan on smoking anymore until I hear back from several jobs. Ideally how long will it take to clear my system if I up my water intake and continue with my regular workout routine (3-5 days) and add in a couple of sauna days?

    Thanks! :)

  • dumbass1244

    I smoke two nights ago and I have a drug test monday I have been drinking tons of grape and cranberry juice the past 2 days and I am going to take the best selling detox drink from gnc tomorrow then drink 2 gallons of water and pee 4-5 times before I take the test. Will I pass?

    • G

      I have the same problem. I smoked on Thursday (it’s Sunday) and my test is on Wednesday. I’ve drank two gallons of cranberry juice and a shit ton of water these last few days. I also bought the stuff at gnc that my friend said she used to detox. Is it enough time?

      Note: I’m a casual user. Smoke about once or twice a week.

      Stats:
      G: Female
      Weight: 180lbs
      Age: 22
      Height: 5’8″

    • Joe Pothead

      I pass with 3-4 days of just bottles of water, lots of pisses and a couple drops of visine. I think you will be okay.

    • christine

      Did you pass?

  • engineer21

    what if the tester is there watching you like in the military? i been smoking for 2 months every night, tonigh i will stop and drink and do all those tricks which i find online to rid of the thc in my system. i hope it works, if yall got some pointers please let me know.

  • Sara

    I’m a 23 year old 125lb female and I have been smoking three to four times a day for about five months now I have a drug test in four days need to pass but I haven’t smoked in two weeks any tips???

  • JoemamaTX

    Awesome sauce! I did a very similar thing when I had failed
    a couple U A and after each time i left i sample I would think “I could
    have cheated that…” As you said buddy we have those in our lives who
    don’t smoke; well I had asked my ex-partner(straight edge guy from
    Iceland…lol) to leave me a sample before he took off for work because he
    didn’t wake me to say he had I woke up feeling way uncertain. As I went for my
    first piss of the day I was relieved to see a zip lock bowl full with what can
    only be described as “liquid gold”. It was a pleasant surprise
    that made my ex seemed a lot less square than I had thought before. Now it was
    a matter of assuring the sample remained viable until I got to the testing
    facility. This is it what happened: First I transferred the sample into a
    heavy duty zip lock baggie. Not the gallon size or the sandwich bags but the
    mid-size ones with the sturdy zipper grip. Next, I ran a kitchen sink full of
    steaming hot water. I remember learning that steam equals boiling (100°F)
    and since that is only a degree and a half higher than our natural body temp I
    figured this would be best way to get up to temp for sure without risking scalding
    temperatures or a low temp sample. I didn’t/don’t have a car. I cycle/bus/train
    hop around town which was to my benefit because I live in Houston and it
    was the hot ass month of August. Cycling part way was not optional because
    of the turbulence. So after getting the sample up to temp I secured the zipper
    with duct tape which is VERY important because they have a tendency to slide
    back a tad at the corner and we couldn’t have that with the liquid so easy to
    leak. Keeping the zipper part upward is crucial to avoiding spillage too. The
    elastic waist bands are a good place to line the zipper up with. Against your
    tummy the elastic keeping the bag flush against my body. put on a nice
    snug pair of boxer briefs (spandex biking shorts would suffice as well). It was
    import for the length to be correct that way the bag wasn’t prone to sagging
    out of either side of traditionally cut briefs and also protected my crotch and
    legs from potential scolding. Then I put another pair on over those almost
    giving myself a butt wedge. This ensures
    the stability of the bag as I traversed from home to the bus stop and so on. It
    also would help insulate the bag maintaining the temperature. Finally, for good
    measure a pair of regular boxers. These would provide yet another layer of heat
    trapping and they helped conceal any bulge or frump and kept me looking
    proportionate. I got off at the train station and went into the Jack in the Box
    across the street and used the bathroom, making adjustments and double checking
    to make sure things felt nice and snug. From the transfer station I proceeded
    to the lab in the Medical Center. As I got off the train I was thinking “so
    far so good”. I arrived registered and was asked to take off my hat and empty
    my pockets before I proceeded into a private bathroom. This was not a
    problem considering the razor I brought was in my sock. After closing the door
    and securing the lock i made sue to pull my pants almost all the way down to
    the floor like when u first learn to pee. Then I reached and pulled the
    corner of the bag downward through the leg part from between the first and
    second pair of boxer briefs like it was my penis. This helps minimize crinkling
    noise that would be caused by fighting with the elastic in the waist band. I
    cut the corner of the bag but the first time it was too narrow and was getting
    noisy trying to squeeze with my balls and bat down there too. So I slashed it
    again and this time pee was going everywhere…Lol. I got steady and filled the
    cup and cleaned any excess of the floor and stuff. The lady joked about
    “starting to worry about me” and I almost started babbling and giving
    myself away but I just nodded and smiled. The first thing she did after I handed
    her the cup with sample is wrap a temperature strip around it-like the ones on
    the outside of the fish tank-then I saw here mark on the form the company sent
    me with that the sample did register between 90° and 100°. At that point
    I knew it was all good. May have had to initial and sign something but it was
    rather easy. I began work two days later.

  • JoemamaTX

    I also think it’s important to not that THC is stored in/with fat cells so exercising and eating substantial but less fattening meals as you try to detox is important to affecting the outcome.

  • ray

    I have smoked weed a shit ton the last 6 days. Like every night just getting baked and I have a drug test in 2 weeks. I’m athletic and sweat and drink tons of water. I also heard that taking benadryl will get rid of thc from ur system? Is this true? How do I pass?

  • Some Guy

    Is there such a thing as a total flush (detoxifier)? Or is there just masking agents? I want to flush and stay clean. Thnx

  • christine

    Smoked sat night/sunday morning…..only 2 pulls. .casual smoker only about twice a month. Preemployment drug test on Wednesday, how do I pass? ?

    • Cea

      I have the same exact problem right now! Smoked 1 hit on Saturday and I have a drug test tomorrow.. Not sure if it will come back positive what do you think?

  • killsauce

    all the above is OK…..except if the temp is too high or too low you fail and there no way of telling how long you may have too wait.. there is no good way I have found

  • Rutger

    Alright i’m a male 6’0 155 lbs. And i smoked on saturday and have a drug test coming up the following week, what do i do?????

    • harry

      A MEXICAN told me about Palo azul tea….I drink it the night before my pee test and I pass every time no bull. Go to Palo Azul Tea dot com. They have the best stuff

      • amelia love

        Hey I’ve used Palo Azul Tea and have passed every test since I started drinking it!!! Thanks

        • jeff

          It works!! Thanks bro I was worried it wouldn’t work but I passed!

          • Amy

            Jeff, how does the Palo Azul Tea work? I smoked last week and my test is next week. Will it work?

          • chiefn

            use ready clean its easy an it WORKS!!!

          • jeff

            Whats up Amy..Palo azul is a rare bush found in central America . Just get your bag of Palo and boil it in a.gallon of water. If you go to Palo azul tea dot com they explain it. They have the most reliable stuff I think.

        • Waukenia

          Where can I get it?

  • chiefn

    im a heavy smoker an have been for the last 5yrs I smoke every day!! im 33 an weigh 275! I haven’t smoked in 21 days I have to take a UA on Friday wich will be day 24 of no smoking i got some ready clean just to be safe an some detoxify vitamins will i pass???

  • Mackflavor

    Haven’t smoked weed in about 14 days and I go for a drug test at 1130am it’s 743am now if I drink 3 gallons of water will I pass ?

    • Mackflavor

      I passed the test :)

  • Rob

    I have to pass a test in like 3 hours what do I do

  • carrie

    If you need to pass a pee test in 24 hours I would drink that Palo azul tea stuff. My bf drinks it every month and passes every time.and he’s a huge smoker. Palo azul only grows in Texas but you can go to Palo Azul Tea dot com and get some good stuff.

  • michelle

    I have a drug test next week and its been 3 weeks since I’ve stopped smoking. Im was a daily smoker but I didn’t smoke more then 4 blunts a day. Is there a chance I can pass the test?

    • Mary Jonesinton

      not without a detox, 3 weeks is not enough for a daily smoker, you need more like 3 months, Carbo32 and the detox from ThcClear are my suggestions, pee test are pretty easy to beat any way

      • sonny13

        I was a daily smoker for many years. When I stopped, it took 4 months and 11 days before I was clean.

        • chiefn

          NO WAY!! REALLY?????

    • kyle

      Drink Palo azul tea ..its natural and cheap ..works every time..problem is it only grows in Texas .. go to Palo azul tea dot com

  • Cody

    I straight up have no sober friends. If they don’t smoke bud their tweakers and whatnot. I heard green and black tea works. I gotta month but I can’t stop smoking no matter how many times I tell myself to. Anyone?

  • Jace

    Have a UA in 4 days, smoked last night. Heavy user for 20 years. What do I do

    • Sonny 13

      Jace: Ive been on a methadone clinic for over 20 years. . I have successfully beat a UA for years. Here is what you need: hey urine leg bag, some clean pee, a urine leg bag, (small), some stretchy material to hold the bag around the top off your leg or abdomen. The bag has a clip to keep the fluid inside until you need it. Warm the clean in the bag under some hot water. It keeps the urine at about the right temperature. Go inside, remove the clip and put the clean pee in the specimen bottle. If they do not do and observed, you are good to go.

      • sonny13

        Edit: it was supposed to say get some hand warmers and put one on the outside of the bag and the other side of the bag up against your skin.

  • 2kobserver

    I smoke about a bowl a night and if I know I have a UA coming up I’ll stop for a bit. I’ve passed every drug test over the years with just water. I drink enough to piss about 3 to 4 times right before taking the UA, passed each and every time. Even when I had a surprise UA. Worst case scenario, test comes back inconclusive but don’t smoke until the results return and continue to drink plenty of water.

    • jerome

      Drink Palo azul tea..its cheap and it works for me every time dude.. just don’t get the cheap stuff.. go to Palo azul tea dot com

  • Vannessa

    I have a test tomorrow @2pm. I usually smoke a bowl @ night to dull the pain of a messed up hip and sleep… I have not smoked in 2 weeks. I did a 7 day rapid cleanse system that ended this past wed. I have been drinking a lot of water and now drinking some cran juice just cuz I’m a but paranoid and really want this new job. Will I be able to pass do you think?

    • sal

      did you pass??

  • Mascy

    I have a test coming up, don’t smoke too much at all and have a total of 26 days from the time I stopped to my test… I’m very athletic (run track every other day) and sweat a lot with a very high metabolism, 6’3 and 176lbs. I’ve been drinking loads of water and a little cran juice. Will I be good when I get tested? Need help bad just let me know thanks.

    • jenn

      Drink Palo Azul tea… I pass my probation pee test every month. It works..Google it. … I would get it from Palo Azul Tea dot com….they have the exotic stuff

      • lily bcio

        I am a stoner… does this really work?

        • peep game

          I just ordered some last week and passed ;)

  • Ori0n

    Can I ask what the up and dn arrow things mean? Some have numbers and others don’t. Today is my first day on this site and I’m clueless. Also having done the 7 day rapid cleanse… Does it make a difference on the test results say if u take the test the day after finishing the cleanse or 5 days later? (If my wording makes sense)

  • jeffsmoker

    So, it’s the 21st and I’m looking at a urine test for a job that I absolutely need in just over a week. I smoked last Wednesday (the 16th) a couple of bowls of Kush with a friend, but before that, I hadn’t smoked since the 4th. Full disclosure: prior to that, I was a heavy smoker (most of the day, everyday when not working).
    I’m 42, slightly overweight, and would guess my metabolism is lower than normal. What I’m seeing on all of these posts (and good luck to all of you!) is that most of you are trying to pass a test without really letting up on your intake. I have NO plans at all on smoking until after this test next week, but find myself completely freaked out that I’m going to fail. Will lots of water, a cleanser, and some sorely-needed working out do it? I’m seeing some instances of THC being detected well after 30 days, and it’s making me uneasy. This would be humiliating, as a friend has attempted to hook me up with this job.
    Advice??? Help??? Thank you all

    • dr greenthumb

      Drink Palo azul tea bro..everyone on here is or should be drinking Palo azul ..it cleans you out in 24 hours ..you can Google it. Just don’t get the crappy stuff..I would go to Palo Azul Tea dot com

    • Brandon

      Fast. Just drink water maybe some juice take a daily vitamin but don’t eat for 3-4 days prior. Go longer if you can. You need to rid the thc that has been absorbed into your fat.

  • jeffsmoker

    thanks, Doc. Can I find this tea in local headshops that sell cleansers or is through the website the only way to go???

    • dr greenthumb

      Palo azul only grows in Texas and is very rarely found. Palo azul tea dot com is your best option..I always pass..and its cheap as hell

  • TopQuality

    Got some exclusive email me if your interested firecalibud@live .com

  • looking at new job testing

    okay so if I go buy some un-lubricated condoms, some small nail clippers and some of those disposable heating pad things do you think I will pass a drug test? I have smoked wayyyyy too much and wayyy too often to pass a drug test for a new job. I was thinking of putting the urine (from hubby who doesn’t smoke) into un-lubricated condom, and then using one of the disposable warming thingies and wrapping it up next to my inner thigh with a ace bandage then once I get into bathroom clipping condom and using urine. Just worried that the warming thingie will make it too hot? Suggestions??

  • looking at new job testing

    going to try to use thermacare heating thingies….

  • Hippielove91

    So I have a UA and blood screen for a job and I haven’t smoked in two days and have been taking 1000mg of niacin a day. Im a heavy smoker but have been off and on smoking for the last moth and if I do smoke I take one hit off a bowl and then don’t do it again for a few days.. I go get my drug screen next Tuesday at 830am. im 5’3 and only weigh about 105. just want to know if I will pass using niacin and working out for the next week or any other advice would be great! Also I drink nothing but water since I found out yesterday about the drug screen..

  • dr green

    They only sell one product because they specialize in only Palo azul .. I would trust them before anyone else.