Mar 112012
 March 11, 2012

Click HereHow To Pass A UA When You Smoke Marijuana

As a person who has been using marijuana illegally for over half of his life, I have had to adopt tricks and techniques to get by in the “real world.” One of the most uncomfortable situations is passing a pre-employment drug screening.

Now, I’m not advocating dishonesty with your employer but a urinalysis unfairly punishes weed smokers while cokeheads and meth addicts get a free pass since those drugs only show up in a urinalysis within 72 hours of use while marijuana can stay in the system for 30 days or more. I don’t smoke before work (usually) and it never affects my ability to perform the functions of my job, but after a long day, nothing sounds better then a big, green bowl.

First off, if you can just stop smoking for thirty days then do it. It’s the simple solution to this situation. However, sometimes you don’t have that much time to prepare so you have to improvise. I have had to take ten to fifteen of these tests over the years with a 100% success rate.

I just got a new job last week and had to give a urine sample for testing. There are too important elements when it comes to effectively passing: obtaining a clean sample and keeping it within temperature. We all have friends that don’t smoke and they are the best sources of clean urine. I’ve heard of people using the fake stuff you can order over the internet or buy at your local head-shops and passing but why pay for the fake stuff when you can get the real thing for free? I just have my buddy fill up a balloon or an unlubricated condom and seal it up. I then drive strait to the facility with the “container” of urine on my dash with the defrost on to help keep the temperature high.

 

This is where it can get tricky. Since you are just taking a pre-employment screening, they cannot search you, so I “hide” the “container” in my underwear and bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my shoe. I then carefully walk in to the facility and register. When they call me to take the test, they usually ask you to remove all items for your pockets but I am sure to keep the nail clippers in my pocket. Once they close the door, I use the clippers to clip a hole in the “container” and fill up the cup. I then empty the remaining “sample” into the toilet and hide the empty “container” in my shoe.

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I don’t like to have to do this and if there was an easier way I would use it. However this is the world we live in and until there is real change, I am forced to play this stupid game.

Magic Detox

About Jay Smoker

I have been smoking marijuana for almost twenty years and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. My life was turned upside down in 2009 after getting arrested and tossed in jail for being in the wrong state with legal medical marijuana. I got fed up, and I now devote all my time to ending this insanity.I am responsible for the technical side of this project, but try to chip in when I can, either with syndicated articles or original content.Follow me on Facebook and Twitter.Feel free to email. any questions or concerns. Peace!
  • T.G

    ive been smoking daily for a while now, i hace to get clean for my job,,,,tall n slim, will 40 days be enuff time to get clean?

    • Stan Johnson

      @ TG: 40 days is more than adequate. Over the next 40 days, keep your water intake as high as you can (which is good for overall health anyway). I am subjected to urinalysis at any time, but I have the ability to know when those possible tests will come up, much like your situation. I drink copious amounts of water a week before hand, and have never tested positive. I hear that Azul Tea (sold at ‘Azul Tea dot com’) helps wash or neutralize tell tale chemicals from urine samples, and though I have never tried it, it seems that others have with good results and a little extra help can’t be a bad thing, but if you have 40 days, I can see no reason to drink the tea. Don’t ingest any marijuana and drink 6-8 glasses of water a day and you’ll do fine.

  • Kim Alwayzonmygrind Johnston

    What if the test takes place in a bathroom with stalls n the examiner is on the other side of the stall she can’t see u but probably will hear u

  • Eli Garcia

    I been clean for a month and I smoke on July 9 and I have been drinking plenty of water amd sweating I got a drug test that my parents bought I have to take it Tmm and idk if I’m going to pass need help asf what else should I do

  • MrsGomes

    A shot of vinigar , a gallon of water and 6pack of crandbery juice. Right after the other you should be good . keep trying water til drug test.

  • Arxeand Korumi

    Yeah, so I have been clean for several months till this last sunday I smoked 3 hits of a bowl of resin, they weren’t big, I didn’t really feel too high off it, just a little. I have a drug test tomorrow, if I’ve been drinking a ton of water, am I good? :l

  • ME

    But… when you show up to work in the morning and they surprise you with an on-sight test… you aren’t likely prepared. So, keep a bottle of Caster Oil in your glove box. Come back in ready to give the “sample”… all over the place in font of them… fill the boss man’s trash if you have to… they will not want to get anywhere near you. You just bought yourself 24hrs to a week to obtain a clean sample and do this test on YOUR terms.

    • pass that shit

      That’s a smart way to give yourself some time. Brilliant I’m gonna definitely pass that along because vomiting u will do castor oil it’s some disgusting shit….

  • Ashley

    I’m kinda off and on I took a drug test this morning and it’s been exactly 2 weeks today sense I last smoked like 3 hits of a small blunt but before that it was a month or longer sence iv smoked so in the past two months iv smoked like 1 time only any ideas that it would come back positive it’s runnin threw my head now

    • pass that shit

      I can say is this. I go and see my probation officer once a month. I have been on probation for 2and one-half years. I am a heavy marijuana smoker. this is my method I purchase 1 blue box of certo it contains 2 packs in 1 box it’s less than 4.00$ from my local Walmart it is used to make jams and jellies. I also purchase stinger witch it’s 10.99$ from my local smoke shop.I have seen it cost 20.00 in other shops so look around if your in Dallas stop at Et’s on sillman its in the parking lot with fed ex right before the 635 frwy… My number one rule is you have to stop smoking 48 hours before the day you have to test. I have told many friends and they have all passed their urine test.some of them say that they passed and smoked the same day I’m too scared to try that I know my method works for me. I promise it will work for you. start 3 hours before your desired cleaning time.the first hour take 1 16 ounce bottle of water drink down until the first line of the wrapping then take one certo package empty into the water bottle it is not a good taste so first I drink a little of it nasty then I add sugar because I have sensitive taste buds. the sugar makes it all the way better. Drink the complete bottle of water mixed with certo afterwards Drink another 16 once bottle of water minimum you can drink more if desired. the second hour repeat steps 1 the third hour follow the directions on the Stinger bottle if you weigh over 250 lbs you Need 2 purchase 2 stingers that’s what it says on the bottle so I’d purchase 2 being safe but I don’t weigh over 250 I’m 170 That’s my guaranteed method for cleaning marijuana for a urine test… I needed to share that because at one point I was trying anything that could possibly work I bought home marijuana tests from Dollar Tree and always failed until I came up with this. I don’t know if my friends claims of smoking the same day and passing work for they are not on probation so again I do what works for me. my personal guarantee from a fellow weed smoker. Test yourself first if your a non-believer but I wouldn’t lie to you I’ve waisted plenty of money that could’ve been tree money trying to find a method that truly works and people here it is.

      • Drewby Bowles

        I have 4 day and I smoke at least once a day do you think I could get clean

  • Martie

    Ashley-I feel you I got a small puncture wound at work yesterday-today when I got to work they filed a workmans comp report and sent me to the doctor for an exam and a drug test. I smoke about 3x a year just so happens I smoked the last 2 nights. I stopped at Walgreens for an over the counter test took it and tested positive-so I never went to my appointment-been drinking water-cranberry-green tea-detox-I am freaking out that I may loose my dream job for $20 of weed-stupid me

    • CB

      Get a friends piss that’s clean and turn it in. Only way to pass for sure. Good luck!

  • cletus

    Okay so I see a lot of remedies on here on how to clean yourself out for a drug test but I’m just wondering if there is any 100% sure way to be able to pass a drug other then a clean buddy’s urine ?

  • ashleyyyy

    Hey. so I am not by any means a regular user.. but I finished nursing school in march and decided to celebrate. I smoked a blunt with a friend twice in late april/the beginning of may, and didn’t smoke again until about 12 days ago (july 6).
    I have the worst luck ever, so of course a place i applied called me in for an interview last week. that went great, i got the job.. but I now have to get a physical and drug test. I was able to buy some time by saying i have a vacation this coming week, but i’m still extremely nervous. I have been working out pretty regularly (have done 9 miles this week) and have been actively working out since the beginning of June anyway.
    I’m assuming the drug test will be either the end of next week, or the start of the following week.. which would mean 19-21 days clean.
    I am not in the best physical shape.. meaning 5’4 and about 220lbs (I know i’m fat.. don’t lecture me), but in process of trying to change that i’ve worked out a lot the last month and a half, as i said before.
    I just am looking for some opinions/experiences. Thanks!!

    • CB

      I would get a girl friend of yours that doesn’t smoke weed and have her give you her piss and take it in there and turn it in as yours. Just be sure to keep it warm when you go there. Best way to insure you will pass. I have done it that way many times. Good luck!

  • kevin

    I have chronic back pain, due to I broke my back,broke my neck—’69.so pain pills and weed help……having HEP C,require a liver transplant. witch they tell me NO SMOKING POT. since I have smoked for better than 40 years………..NEED HELP

    • Queen Rainbow (Color queen)

      You need to take mega doses of milk thistle good luck to you

  • nikkidee

    hey i smoked weed almost every day for the last year i stopped smoking and took a drug test a week later only to find out i was still dirty. i then took 6 penicillin over a 3 day time period drank a stinger detox and continued to drink water and a mixture of cranberry juice and braggs vinegar only like a shot to 4 oz of juice . continued the water and yes i tested today and im clean..im like 150 and 5 ‘4″ .. hope the detox methods i used help some one else.. truly i will never smoke again. my nerves have been so bad but now im confident that i will pass the test ..!!!

  • ry

    how long will the piss stay good in the balloon

  • jt

    Simply take a non lubricated rubber full of clean piss in the facility inside your underwear. Bite a hole in it when ready to pour into cup. Make sure you’ve kept this tucked tightly against your private area to keep the warmth of your body. Lightly microwave beforehand for good measures, but not too HOT!! IT’S EASY. I JUST DID IT. IT WAS CLEAN. RIGHT TEMP. I WALKED OUT. THEY MAIL IT OFF!! GOOD RESULTS!!! I NOW HAVE A JOB!!

    • J bird

      Bite a hole in it??? You want me to put a condom full of someone’s piss in my mouth. And bit a hole in it??? Are you retarded. Why wouldnr you use nail clippers or something

  • JennytheBeautiful

    once again blog keeps deleting the posts about Palo Azul Tea because magnum detox or one of those $100 detox companies owns this blog and they dont want people to be aware that Palo Azul Tea even exists because palo azul only costs like 6 $ a bag. the tea worked for me 3 out of 3 times and im 6ft 2 – 250 lbs. Just be sure you dont get the Palo off of eba or amazon because those buttholes are selling fake Palo Azul. The only place to get the real deal is Palo Azul Tea dot com…one bag works .. get 2 or three bags if its do or die… i have a homeboy who makes a gallon of Tea out of 10 bags and he tripps balls ( so he claims) he said it was a good trip.. if i can detox and get high off of some tea for just 5 bucks SIGN ME UP!!

    • GrassOutback

      hey I just heard about that tea from a friend of mine in texas. Does anyone know if palo azul tea ships to Australia?

  • tiff N

    What about a hair follicle test? I need advice?

  • Britt

    that is the best advice I’ve ever seen. thanks

  • mj

    I smoked last about mid may and have a pre employment drug screen at the end of this week. have drank a good bit of water the last month and half. am 5’8 and 160 lbs. think i’ll be fine?

    • Amber

      It should definitely be out if your system by now. Even for people who smoke daily, the longest it should stay in your system is like a month and a half.

  • JayTee

    The last time I smoked was last week on Friday and i got a drug test on Wednesday and that’s tomorrow :o what do I do ?