Mar 112012
 March 11, 2012

Click HereHow To Pass A UA When You Smoke Marijuana

As a person who has been using marijuana illegally for over half of his life, I have had to adopt tricks and techniques to get by in the “real world.” One of the most uncomfortable situations is passing a pre-employment drug screening.

Now, I’m not advocating dishonesty with your employer but a urinalysis unfairly punishes weed smokers while cokeheads and meth addicts get a free pass since those drugs only show up in a urinalysis within 72 hours of use while marijuana can stay in the system for 30 days or more. I don’t smoke before work (usually) and it never affects my ability to perform the functions of my job, but after a long day, nothing sounds better then a big, green bowl.

First off, if you can just stop smoking for thirty days then do it. It’s the simple solution to this situation. However, sometimes you don’t have that much time to prepare so you have to improvise. I have had to take ten to fifteen of these tests over the years with a 100% success rate.

I just got a new job last week and had to give a urine sample for testing. There are too important elements when it comes to effectively passing: obtaining a clean sample and keeping it within temperature. We all have friends that don’t smoke and they are the best sources of clean urine. I’ve heard of people using the fake stuff you can order over the internet or buy at your local head-shops and passing but why pay for the fake stuff when you can get the real thing for free? I just have my buddy fill up a balloon or an unlubricated condom and seal it up. I then drive strait to the facility with the “container” of urine on my dash with the defrost on to help keep the temperature high.

 

This is where it can get tricky. Since you are just taking a pre-employment screening, they cannot search you, so I “hide” the “container” in my underwear and bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my shoe. I then carefully walk in to the facility and register. When they call me to take the test, they usually ask you to remove all items for your pockets but I am sure to keep the nail clippers in my pocket. Once they close the door, I use the clippers to clip a hole in the “container” and fill up the cup. I then empty the remaining “sample” into the toilet and hide the empty “container” in my shoe.

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I don’t like to have to do this and if there was an easier way I would use it. However this is the world we live in and until there is real change, I am forced to play this stupid game.

Magic Detox

About Jay Smoker

I have been smoking marijuana for almost twenty years and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. My life was turned upside down in 2009 after getting arrested and tossed in jail for being in the wrong state with legal medical marijuana. I got fed up, and I now devote all my time to ending this insanity. I am responsible for the technical side of this project, but try to chip in when I can, either with syndicated articles or original content. Follow me on Facebook and Twitter. Feel free to email. any questions or concerns. Peace!
  • guest

    how long does it take to get shipped? I have to test on the 22nd

    • guest

      Hey 22nd? Coincidence or are you an do you work for jokewood? ;)

  • Badguy319

    I been smoking weed about 3 years now I have to take a piss text tomorrow for a job any ideas on how I can pass it, can someone please give me some advice please please I really want this job…… btw I’m 6’1 220….

    • LPPPP

      Because of your body mass, if you smoke often there may be no way. However; the best advice I can offer is to “fast”. Drink nothing but water and pure cranberry juice to make you pee a lot. This may help. It worked for me, but I’m also a very small female. Hope you get the job!

  • Enough is Enough

    Badguy and to all, the synthetic urine has worked for me for the last 41/2 years. You should get a big bottle of urine, a small one with a screw-on flip-top with temperature indicating tape on the side and some hand warmers. Put some urine in the small bottle, heat in the microwave for 12 seconds, open the warmer and fix it to the bottle with a rubber band and tape it below your waste line. Done! Hope this helps!

  • wayne

    So to keep it simple, in Texas I spent 1.5 years on probation for a second time class B <2oz MJ possession. I was put on random drug tests, had to call in 5 days a week to see if I had to go in, and this was a result of having failed my first drug test, which I attempted to trick using a popular detox that was pretty hyped but did not work for me. After that I found a common method online that actually works, is cheap as fk, and the closest I used it was 48 hours after smoking and passed. Smoked saturday night, called in monday and went in passed my test. More importantly the single ingredient didn't give me neon green shits for two days like the detox that failed lol. anyways, the420formula.com has the exact recipe of what you need and how to take it to pass a MJ urine test easy. hope this helps some people clear the confusion. Don't drown yourself or waste $50 on some detox that might not work. http://www.the420formula.com

  • ILoveHotDogs

    Whoever made the posts below about using Palo Azul Tea to pass a dt thankyou.

  • Jessica

    I was a mostly daily smoker for over 35 years and quit when i had to look for a new job. It had been almost 2 and 1/2 months and I never dreamed I would test positive, but I did, getting a score of “47”. I had another test done a few days after the first one and it came out negative. Now, 14 days after the first (positive) test and 9 days after the second (negative) test, I have to take another pre-employment test. I am scared to death that I won’t pass this one either, but am not sure I want to risk using anything so will probably try to drink a lot of water between now and then. I am 56 years old and am about 5’5 and weigh about 220, so my fat content does not work in my favor lol. Anybody have any words of wisdom?

    • Em

      Make sure that you urinate several times in the morning before going in for the test. The first piss of the day tends to be the “dirtiest” (you may have noticed that the color of your urine is a bit darker in the morning than it is throughout the rest of the day) and that is because the longer urine sits in your bladder the more toxins and wastes it tends to contain. With that in mind, you should also provide a sample that is “mid-stream”. And by that I mean you should first urinate a bit into the toilet before you start to fill the cup in order to get rid the of the urine that has been sitting in your bladder the longest. Drinking a lot of water isn’t going to do you much good. All that will do is dilute your urine. Slightly diluted urine will help you pass, but if you over do it and testers suspect that you’ve diluted (it will be quite obvious if your urine has little to no color) they will either send it out for more thorough testing, submit the results as “inconclusive”, or ask you to provide another sample. I also recommend avoiding exercise of any kind during the days leading up the test. THC is stored in your fat cells, so if you are burning off fat then the THC metabolites will end up in your urine. If you are still nervous that you are going to fail, buy a home drug testing kit at the pharmacy and test yourself at home. Most of them use the same detection levels for marijuana as the labs do for basic drug screenings. If you are able to pass a home test with your first pee of the day then you should have no problem passing one midday at the lab. The longest I’ve ever heard of marijuana being detected in urine after abstaining from smoking is about 90 days. You’re right around there so odds are good that you will pass. Good luck :)

  • Angels Venom

    Hey I’m new here to the blog. I came here looking for answers and I found them…I heard about this special tea. All the search engines directed me to the experts. Thanks for telling us about the Palo Azul I will always use this special tea. I like to drink it just because it is good and it looks cool too and of course I passed!!!! Happy Toking!

  • Janet

    How much of the tea do I need to drink? I am an occasional smoker and have to take a test in 7 days. My last smoke was 3 days ago. I ordered the tea yesterday and paid for express delivery. Expecting it to arrive tomorrow. Advice please!
    Janet

    • WilkshireUK

      i am in the UK and found out about Palo azul tea 6 months ago .. i get 3 bags from them for like 17$ and boil all of it in a gallon of water for an hour.. low boil.. eventually the water will turn blue ..palo azul means “blue stick ” in spanish. Drink the gallon 2 days before your test and you will be clean for good.. it has worked for me 4 out of 4 times. They have been doing this in south america for decades , north america is just now catching on.

  • tanuj

    I’ve smoked for 1 year now.. How long do you think will it take (minimum) to clean my body? I’ve purchased lots of cranberry juice and I’m taking multivitamin daily…. and I actually am peeing a lot now and I know it’s good…. The last I smoked was 2 days back.

    • jamie

      how did you go with your test

  • matthew smith

    i knew an old trucker dude who said to take a 12 ounce bottle of water and a cap-full of regular bleach (yes, i said bleach). drink that fucker down and DON’T PISS UNTIL YOUR READY TO PISS IN THE CUP. the bleach wont hurt you just dont drink a whole bunch. iv’e passed UA’s with only an hours notice before and it works every time…. try it, nothing ventured nothing gained right??

    • Murcadez

      Are you kidding? I’m desperate and willing to try this but I don’t wanna die lol!

    • Jordan

      Gonna try this tomorrow morning along with some other methods, better “safe” than sorry ;)

      • CP

        So how’d that work out for you?

  • Antony Taylor

    This is a great solution, but remember to first pee in the cup with
    your own WARM urine so the color strip on the cup changes color. Then toss out the tainted urine and swap with the clean sample from the condom or small container. Usually the clean sample is NOT warm enough to pass the temperature test. Good luck! And remember, pre-screening isn’t obligatory, just required. You may choose to return later in the day (or on another day) to the clinic when you’re more prepared. Yes, you have a right to refuse such on-the-spot surprise pre-employment drug tests,
    esply if the clinic is open 24hr.

    • CP

      So once you pee in the cup and it register the temp it stays and won’t change once you add in the other pee?

      • Antony Taylor

        Exactly! The strip changes color and stays changed.

  • David

    Hey, im 17, 5’6” and weigh 115lbs with a lightning fast metabolism. The last time i smoked was friday(june 19th) night and i have a drug test coming up sometime this week. I’ve only smoked a handfull of times in the past 60 days.Will i pass and if not, how long do you think it will be until i pass, thanks :D

  • Shay

    Hello, so I’m a 23 year old female, 5’6″, and I weigh about 127lbs. I’m very active, and I’ve been drinking a lot of water everyday, and I’m taking a 14day cleanse product I purchased from CVS. I have a drug test coming up for a new job, that’ll most likely on June 29th, and the last day I smoked was on June 12th. Any suggestions or advice to help me pass? Thank you!

  • Steve Freeman

    When in the Navy, this is what I did: Learned early in morning that testing was required that day. Drank as much water as I could hold, and I mean alot! Go pee privately. Immediately drink as much water as I could hold again, go pee privately again. Repeat a 3rd time; but be sure to drink enough water so that you think you will bust – that’s the key. Drink, pee, drink, pee, as many times as you can before you have to test and right up until it’s testing time. You will feel bloated, but it’s just water so get over it. If you can cycle thru many times, drinking an almost sickening amount of water each time, your piss will be as clean as a whistle because you will be pissing water, not really urine. Worked every time for me.

  • Leonard

    I NEED HELP ASAP

  • Leonard

    ANYONE!???!

  • tavia

    I have to do a drug test tomorrow ND the last day I smoked was yesterday what am I to do

  • carpenter

    Try a GNC store or vitimin store. I bought something from then a few years ago that works in a few hours. I think it was called Test Clean