Mar 112012
 March 11, 2012

marijuana piss testHow To Pass A UA When You Smoke Marijuana

As a person who has been using marijuana illegally for over half of his life, I have had to adopt tricks and techniques to get by in the “real world.” One of the most uncomfortable situations is passing a pre-employment drug screening.

Now, I’m not advocating dishonesty with your employer but a urinalysis unfairly punishes weed smokers while cokeheads and meth addicts get a free pass since those drugs only show up in a urinalysis within 72 hours of use while marijuana can stay in the system for 30 days or more. I don’t smoke before work (usually) and it never affects my ability to perform the functions of my job, but after a long day, nothing sounds better then a big, green bowl.

First off, if you can just stop smoking for thirty days then do it. It’s the simple solution to this situation. However, sometimes you don’t have that much time to prepare so you have to improvise. I have had to take ten to fifteen of these tests over the years with a 100% success rate.

I just got a new job last week and had to give a urine sample for testing. There are too important elements when it comes to effectively passing: obtaining a clean sample and keeping it within temperature. We all have friends that don’t smoke and they are the best sources of clean urine. I’ve heard of people using the fake stuff you can order over the internet or buy at your local head-shops and passing but why pay for the fake stuff when you can get the real thing for free? I just have my buddy fill up a balloon or an unlubricated condom and seal it up. I then drive strait to the facility with the “container” of urine on my dash with the defrost on to help keep the temperature high.

This is where it can get tricky. Since you are just taking a pre-employment screening, they cannot search you, so I “hide” the “container” in my underwear and bring a small pair of nail clippers and hide the clippers in a pocket or my shoe. I then carefully walk in to the facility and register. When they call me to take the test, they usually ask you to remove all items for your pockets but I am sure to keep the nail clippers in my pocket. Once they close the door, I use the clippers to clip a hole in the “container” and fill up the cup. I then empty the remaining “sample” into the toilet and hide the empty “container” in my shoe.

I don’t like to have to do this and if there was an easier way I would use it. However this is the world we live in and until there is real change, I am forced to play this stupid game.

detox marijuana drug test

About Jay Smoker

I have been smoking marijuana for almost twenty years and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. My life was turned upside down in 2009 after getting arrested and tossed in jail for being in the wrong state with legal medical marijuana. I got fed up, and I now devote all my time to ending this insanity.I am responsible for the technical side of this project, but try to chip in when I can, either with syndicated articles or original content.Follow me on Facebook and Twitter.Feel free to email. any questions or concerns. Peace!
  • niki

    I haven’t smoked in 2 years , I hit one twice on the 12th then 3 hits on or around the 20th so a total of 5 hits …I got a drug test coming up tomorrow and have heard as little as I smoked I should be fine … Is this true

    • cjwall2

      You should be fine. Alas, everyone is different, so I can’t say that for sure. In my experiences, I have been fine in your situation.

  • Kyle

    I smoked on Sunday a blunt with someone else it is now Tuesday and I’m getting randomly drug testes yesterday I sweat a lot I worked outside all day and drank lots of water and it is Tuesday morning and I’m about to take the test do u think I could possibly pass?

  • vicky jessel

    Is Palo azul very effective? I saw the website and its looks shady af…. I’m not a heavy potheadvladtbi smoked was on the twelveth and thirteenth and on the twentieth. I weigh 160lbs and I’m 5’2 20yrs old mostly all muscle. Any suggestions or Palo azul the best way to go?

    • Dr. Greenthumb

      The Palo azul website is verified and secured and has thousands of members… im surprised you’re just now catching on to Palo Azul.. its definitely what you need.

      • estalio1

        I only hear successful story for probation. Any story’s of this working for pre – employment drug testing!

  • Dogfish

    what can I use OTC/

  • Dogfish

    Does bleach work?

  • Jeremy

    I smoked yesterday around 10 pm I have a drug test tommarow at 2 pm I have a fast metabolism I weigh 143 I’m male now if I drink cranberry juice mixed with vinegar, water, certo and Gatorade take a niacin pill if I pull an all nighter tonight and piss and sweat it all out will I pass I bought some at home drug tests just to make sure

  • HiLilly

    I had to take the test recently and read through all these helpful tips. I didn’t cut back at all. The day of, I drank 4 pints of water, took 4 aspirin, 4 Trader Joe’s multivitamins, 2 milk thistle and 2 bioflavonoids. When I got there I had to pee desperately, and then I had to wait an HOUR! It was brutal! I had to wash my hands before and after, so the bleach-on-fingers wouldn’t have worked. The tech looked at my watered-down yet vitamin-enhanced sample and said, “Looks like you studied for the test.” Amazingly, I passed, yippie! Thanks, everyone!

  • Miss Curious

    I have puffed everyday for a few months now. I am very thin 5’7 and around 110 lbs and going through stressful stuff. MJ has helped me not only sleep at night, but also keeps me eating as I have no appetite. It has been around two weeks since my last puff. I may have to take a test for a personal matter and I’m worried about passing it. I drink plenty of water and decided to do a home test to see if I would pass or not; I failed. The test was positive for THC. I was wondering if this tea really works? I do not have a lot of money to spend. What if it is a random test and I do not know when I will have to take it? Could I drink the tea everyday until I know I will be clean for sure? Thanks for the help.

    • Dr greenthumb

      As far as I know it is a total detox if you drink it once.. I would get two or three bags to be safe but its still just like six bucks a bag. I’ve had several reports on here from people who pass their pee test every time with just one bag… you just cant get the cheap Mexican Palo.. Palo azul tea dot com has the exotic central American Palo …its more potent ..way better.

      • Miss Curious

        Thank you very much for the info and help!

    • Grandmaweed

      Hi miss curious, I am 57 and pass the test all the time. I also smoke all the time. This is my way of passing… I wear a long dress – an empire-waist maxi is perfect – and this style is currently stylish. I bought a kitchen-type syringe (no needle-type – a baster-type opening) with at least 20cc’s holding capacity. I get a friend’s urine who has kept it in a thermos (for temperature control) from that morning. Pick it up from her that morning. I then fill the syringe with the warm urine in the car just before going in to test, tape it to my lower stomach area with a piece of tape over the syringe opening. Then when testing, I carefully USE the dress as a cover (which covers up any Big Brother voyeurism tactics they are using, i.e. cameras) – just use the dress as cover. You should be able to feel your way to slowly push down on the kitchen syringe to deposit the urine into the container – remember to empty a slight amount into the toilet – as you would if really peeing before putting the cup in place. Fill the cup. Then empty your own bladder in the toilet which really makes things sound “real”. Then wipe, and walk out :) By the way, the syringe can be found at Walmart or any kitchen store.

  • unhipcarrot

    Okay, my turn.
    I just got a call with a job offer! This is an incredible chance for me, but of course, there is a drug test. I’m a stoner that smokes everyday, last night being the last time. The woman says my tentative start date is August 11th, so anytime between now and then I will be taking my drug test. Please help me, this is so important to me, how do I pass?!

  • largedong

    I have a drug test on Monday and it is currently Wednesday. 3 days ago on Sunday I took 2 hits from a 1 hitter and before that the only times I smoked was last week with a hit of synthetic, and 2 weeks ago I used a bong once a day for 3 days. If I just drink a lot of water and fast will I pass it? I’m 135 lbs id say at 5’9

    • largedong

      Are the arrows pointing up a good sign?

  • Rich

    how long will it take for the palo azul to arrive after shipping takes place. I need it soon

  • Jess

    Alright, I got a drug test next Tuesday. I stop smoking for about three days. I occasionally smoked weed before I found out about the drug test. Everyday actually. and well, I got no fucking idea what will save my life here. But I’m terrified and damn it. I need to pass this drug test. Someone please help!?

  • Ravyn

    I last smoked pot on wednesday night and it is now saturday and I got an excellent job offer with of course a drug test, I smoke almost every day. What can I do to secure my chances of passing? I have no money to buy any products. Im 5’1 and 115. Any suggestions???

  • allie noel

    will the palo azul tea work for people over 250? how much do you drink?

  • Hobo

    at palo azul tea dot com it says to drink it 24-48 hours before your test, is this a certain time period that it works after drinking or any time after 48 hours you should pass the test? Basically does palo azul tea cover up the thc in your urine or does it actually rid your urine of it entirely within 24-48 hours? If it rids it then I could smoke and then drink it the next day and anytime after this I would be good as long as I don’t smoke again, right?

  • Meow420

    I am a Very Heavy smoker… I weigh about 260 but am very active… I have a drug test sometime in September… How long do you think I can continue to smoke for if I wanted to stop and come clean naturally? … I hear a lot about this Palo Azul Tea dot com does it work ? and how gross is it lol ?

  • Gats

    I got a test tomorrow at 1pm, anywhere local to get it instead of online?