What Is The Best Job For A Stoner?

 Posted by on June 30, 2010 at 7:30 PM  Opinion  Add comments
Jun 302010
 

work for marijuanaLet’s face it, stoners (especially me) don’t like to work, but we do it because we have to pay the bills, right? While I was at my crappy office job today, I spent a little while reminiscing of previous jobs I’ve had that were much more stoner-friendly. My current job has a ‘zero tolerance’ policy directed at marijuana, even medical marijuana. It’s not the job I dreamed of having after college, but I had to start somewhere, so I will just have to make it work. With that being said, I can still daydream about the days when I was younger, and health care benefits were far from my mind…

There are very obvious stoner friendly jobs that we would all love to have. These jobs are directly tied into the industry, and include, but are not limited to: grower, dealer, clipper, head shop owner, dispensary owner, grow supply store, marijuana testing facility, etc. These jobs are the most stoner friendly (for obvious reasons), but they are hard to come by for most Americans. Unless you know someone that has a serious operation or booming storefront, you are left to find one of the ‘ordinary’ jobs that a stoner can acquire. I made a list at work today while I was bored; feel free to add a dream stoner job, a previous stoner job, or even a current stoner job if you’re one of the lucky ones.

Ski Resort — Almost all of my stoner friends love skiing or snowboarding, while simultaneously getting baked out of their minds. I’ve never gone snowboarding or skiing, but my friends passionately assure me that getting high on the mountain is one of their favorite activities in life. They all wish that they worked at a resort so they could ride the higher high every day, while getting paid to do it.

Movie Rental Store — These are becoming rarer by the week. It seems like every time I pass a video store, they are either out of business, or going out of business. That’s the way of media though — why pay for it when you can bootleg it off the internet? There was a time though when working at a video store was a killer job for a stoner. I remember my best friend worked at one when we were growing up, and not only did he sell weed out of the store, but we would get big high in the back and play all of the latest video games. Good times.

Massage Therapist — I haven’t met too many massage therapists that weren’t down with the reefer. When you are providing a harmonious, soothing atmosphere as part of your job, marijuana consumption fits in very well. The medical clinic that I go to in Portland, Oregon has a massage therapist on staff that does cannabis oil massages. I’ve never set up an appointment, but I can only imagine…

Record Store — For all of you younger readers, a record store is a place where people used to buy music in the form of CD’s, cassette tapes, and vinyl albums. These places also had posters, t-shirts, stickers, and other awesome music related paraphernalia for sale. I used to work at one, and it was probably the greatest thing that ever happened to my life. It’s like they say on Half Baked, ‘Perfect job for a stoner. You get to sit around and talk about music all day.’ The one I worked at shared the same parking lot with a pizza parlor…Soda, arcade games, pizza, reefin’, and then go back to work to rock out…

Food Industry (both restaurants and fast food) — Ninjasmoker and I have both worked at a lot of food places throughout the years, and we both agreed that we have yet to find a food establishment that wasn’t full of tokers. Now I’m not saying EVERYONE that works at a food place is a toker, but what I am saying is that if they sell food, and there are more than 5 employees on staff, at least a couple of those staff members are down with the greens. Fast food jobs were really crappy while I was doing them, but when I think back, they are also some of my fondest ‘coming of age’ memories. You could go to work high as a kite, maintain it throughout your shift by smoking in the walk-in freezer or out by the garbage cans, and then eat as much fat as you could possibly handle throughout your shift. I usually ended up becoming my bosses’ hook up within the first few weeks of working at a food place, which always made life much easier.

Pizza Delivery — I had to single pizza out, because it has been a staple career in the stoner culture for so many decades. One of my first jobs I ever had was working at the pizza place that I mentioned in the ‘Record Store’ part of this article. The name of the pizza place and location is irrelevant — as long as it is not a chain ‘take and bake’ type pizza establishment, chances are the entire staff are marijuana consumers. Every pizza place me and Ninja worked at, the entire staff burned it down, or at least was sympathetic toward the cause. From the manager to the pizza delivery drivers, they were always down with a 420 session, and it was awesome. Being a pizza delivery driver is the perfect job for a stoner too. You get to listen to tunes all day, plus you get enough tips to purchase a sack after your shift almost automatically. I know Ninjasmoker is particularly down with the pizza delivery job.

Process Server — I never would have thought about this career, if it weren’t for good old Dale Denton. It seems that you really can drive around all day, smoking doobies, and get paid for it, all the while dressing up in various costumes….

Stage Hand — This was another one of my favorite jobs of all time. I worked at the Oregon State Fair as a stage hand for the music acts that came through. I worked back stage at the Pat Benatar, Def Leppard, and George Thorogood concerts. True story — the first day I showed up to the job, the owner of the company said ‘make sure you always have sun glasses on, that way people can’t see your red eyes.’ I was like ‘my eyes aren’t red, are they?’ To which he replied, ‘No, but they will be by the end of the day.’ No less than two hours later I see him and Pat Benatar smoking the hugest blunt I have ever seen to this day…you gotta love rock and roll…

Artist — Visual art and marijuana go hand in hand. Not every artist smokes marijuana of course, but I know a lot of marijuana consumers that paint and draw and do graphic design for sure. Does anyone remember Bob Ross and the ‘Joy of Painting?’ That was the greatest show ever. I used to watch it every Saturday in middle school, and get baked junior high style out of a metal pipe. You can’t tell me that guy didn’t burn them down before every show…’Let’s paint another happy little tree.’

Musician — Music and marijuana also go hand in hand. If you can rock it out on stage, the only thing that could possibly make your day better is some smoking back stage. Marijuana unlocks that creative part of your brain that doesn’t get tickled enough in the sober state. I used to write music, and when I was ‘well adjusted’ after some tokin’, I always wrote my best material. Think of how many musicians in the last 50 years smoked marijuana. And what a great job for a stoner — you get to play music for a living and have people wanting to smoke you out everywhere you go.

Comedian — Doug Benson. Enough said.

Print Friendly

About Johnny Green

Johnny Green is a marijuana activist from Oregon. He has a Bachelor's Degree in Public Policy. Follow Johnny Green on Facebook and Twitter. Also, feel free to email any concerns.
  • jake

    i worked at a candy store a year ago. felt like i was going to ralph every day from so much candy but it was kick ass job for a stoner damn straight

  • http://myhemp.blogspot.com Medicinal Mike

    I work for an online Psychic service, reading Tarot and doing dream interpretations. Since I am on contract, that really means I work for myself. I also work at a used bookstore/antiques that the ower is 420 friendly. I do seated massage, Reflexology and raed Tarot in the back room. You are correct that massage and cannabis go hand in hand. I am also a drum teacher. Go to youtube and look up medicinal drumming to see a sample. As a musician They also go hand in hand. Great topic, one I have never really sat down and thought about…

    • http://myhemp.blogspot.com Medicinal Mike

      PS. Happy Cannada Day (my spelling ! )

  • miggy420

    Esquire magazine has marijuana lobbyist as number #7

  • raY

    HELLO I LOVE TO SMOKE LOT’S OF MARIJUANA ALL DAY LONG IT;S THE SHIT.

    • nathan

      then you should hook me up with some

  • keshiki

    yo man. it is true that the food industri are full of potheads. My dad owns a restourant and hes a stoner. i get stoned there with the workers there and i get FREE FOOD, FREE ALCOHOL, AND EVEN FREE WEED IT ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
    grettings from indonesia your blogs awsome mate.

  • mike

    Fruit picking also a awesome stoner job. Hard work working in the different weather conditions but spark up a joint before work, then again at morning smoko then again at lunch time and then afternoon smoko den 1 for the trip home at the end of the day, makes the day go really quickly lol.

  • mickey blue

    i work and study and my ideal stoners job is to be a 24/7 stoner or alternativly if nobody is prepared to pay me 4 that then obviously a weedtender in a coffee shop in my beloved amsterdamski!! i hate living in england it pure sucks dudes

    • girls+pot

      hey man! im a starbucks freak! if you ever open up at coffee shop im down to help ya out!

      • TokeTokerson

        id be down to open up a coffee shop for stoners, the whole staff would be ripped all the time and we cud also have weed tea for our special customers lmfao

        TokeTokerson says, always flip and you’ll stay ripped

        • mr. nice guy

          he means a ‘coffeeshop’ a name that is used to refer to the shops that sell weed in amsterdam

  • http://www.tijon.net Owimrin

    basically anything but working in an office, im a carpenter/builder, i can bake all day and i get to listen to tunes. plus at the end of the day, i get to say i built that, awesome feeling, and the creativity helps a ton

  • flood

    I deliver newspapers and its perfect. I can bring whoever i want on my route and smoke blunts, it’s only a few hours per night, and it’s the same route every night so its hard to mess up even if you’re stoned. The only thing is that i have to be up at 3:30, but i get back when my friends are on their way to school so we can all take a bluntride together before they go to school and i go back to bed.

  • Frank Smith

    Pot was fun when my brother and I were kids and everyone thought it was a joke. I never got into it, but my brother stayed a stoner. He continues to live at home with our 89 year old mother and doesn’t work at age 58. Anyone that believes that pot is good for you, should spend 5 minutes talking to a real stoner and witness first-hand the ramblings and nonsense that he otters. He has destroyed the lives of everyone around him, his wife, his kids and grand children. It’s very sad and it’s heart-breaking. Better things to do with your lives if you want to be a “rebel” like improve the world instead of retreating into a drug bliss.

    • No Inhale

      I hate to be the one to break it to you, Frank, but your brother is a loser. People like to blame weed for making people lazy and stupid, but those people are just naturally lazy and stupid. Weed didn’t ruin your brother’s life; he did that all on his own.

    • frank the tank

      “witness first-hand the ramblings and nonsense that he otters.” Last time I checked, otters don’t ramble……..maybe you meant to use the word ‘utter?’ Maybe you should learn to spell and quit stereotyping every human on earth because your brother is a deadbeat.

      • Dick Johnson

        Sounds like your bro smokes muthafuckin crack!

        • 420webber

          … are you serious… we could go on hours and hours about that subject.. you just posted on a Mary friendly website that mary ruined you bro’s life. you can blame anything you want to but until the who gets the help to get out of the deep depression that he is using marijuana to escape from.. then you will never see your brother again… hes not addicted to the drug.. AND it sounds like everyone blames the weed as the problem.. his wife.. his kids… his grandkids… and any other family he has.. which in my opinion would make any smoker just want to smoke more… so its your fault he gave up his life.. good job

          • 420something

            Well if the pot is so bad, why am I on it? Why did my doctor prescribe it? Oh cause I’m on it for medical medicinal reasons. So is that why I have a house and 4 cars yup that’s right 4 cars, I obviously don’t drive them all at once, and one of those cars is an 81 Camaro so not just shitty cars, either way I think I’m doing pretty good, and I have a job. Tho I would like a more friendly pot job because some people frown upon medical marijuana. what makes him different from me, is it because I’m sick that i am not lazy? ……

            anyway this is an awesome board very well written, I may look into a new job at one of those choices lol thank you

    • technostoner

      Faggot.

    • Jammin

      Rastafarian belief is what your brother need after a long days work it’s time to light that shit up man

    • niggas

      you probably are too much of a pussy to hit dis blunt with me, i would be shoving my foot into your rectum if i wasn’t busy rollin one up wit my niggas

      • ye

        yea dog u told him what up bisssshhhh

      • drew

        You’re an idiot.

    • anthony

      it seems to me hes just a shitty person in general and your using weed to explain why

  • alec

    im a pizza delivery guy for dominos and its sweet i smoke bowls daily bro montana. every 3 hours maximum i smoke a bowl on the job and i get free pizza its awesome. but im in college so i rly cant do this foreverr it would be sweet to be a glass blower and make bongs all day mannn. or go into real estate and smoke up in the houses ur selling

  • Russkiy

    I work as a pharm tech for a dispensary in cali. Best stoner job ever!
    No free samples though… I get bragging rights and smokeouts. :P

  • Residude

    I used to work a night shift at a commercial photography lab. I worked in a darkened print room in back of the building. All the managers were gone for the night (except for the maintenance manager, who was a stoner too!) and there were only a handful of us in the building. Me and several other people I worked with used to go take a ride on our breaks and just get baked out of our minds! It made the rather tedious job of running printing machines a lot more interesting! Most peaceful, mellow job I ever had, and the pay wasn’t bad either!

  • JayJay

    Philosophy Lecturer at a Uni somewheres would sound like a good job for a stoner, shaping the minds of our younger generation with wisdom from the older non conformists that speak the truth about todays society, governments and politics not meeting the needs of its people due to corruption greed and power.
    Its shaping the mins of our young and showing them the mass gargantuan failings of todays society, they are the future after all, maybe one day, someone in that class might remember the teachings from the stoner philosophy class and be in a position to do something about it.

  • http://n/a Duncan Phillips

    I love everyone’s comments about jobs. I am only kid but I’m scared shitless of going out to the world while at the same time excited. I have no idea what job I should pick on pursuing but I know I want to be able to smoke in the free time.

  • TokeTokerson

    i read all three articles and i really want to start being more sucessful with my selling which ive been stuppid with lately, i just wish my parents would not care about me blazing all the time. when i get my license soon im definatly gunna be a pizza delivery guy, u cud blaze all the time just wud have to be a good driver while your high ahah, thanks for all the tips about selling man.

    TokeTokerson says, always flip and you’ll stay ripped

  • Bootshineboilin

    Graveyard shift adding minutes via inbound 800# phone calls to “at&t pre paid phone cards”. Hours were like 10pm~5am. Top floor of an old 1930s era bank (many spots to get up for a “break” downstairs (alleyways, backdoors…) . It was not uncommon to get one or 2 calls over an entire shift (even if it always seemed to be from some crazy pakistanis nearly impossible to understand with like 15 different insane names registered on the fucking long distance phone card ! , hell, shit used to make me laugh hard, stoned laughter, it served to break up the at times extended and monotonous “othello” sessions, as in the computer version of that game) … it was an enormous call center but at night there were only 3 or 4 people there (during the day the place was a fucking madhouse, a total shit job : at night, different story). Forget if I worked there for 3 weeks or a month back in (what the fuck year was it ?) , oh yeah 2003. It was perfect, too perfect. A “new supervisor” , a large woman, middle aged, trailer park~esque in all the wrong ways w/ A) a penchant for micro management (not to mention a special light footed talent for sneaking up on me to warn me about playing othello so as that I could feel the breath hit my neck before hearing the utterance) & B) a quickly unfolding unhealthy/creepy as creepy could be fawning , almost obsequious interest in yours truly. The 2nd shift I worked with her I had to turn down her home brought from spaghetti and meat balls multiple times, that was also the last shift I worked there. My god I still despise her. “Sue”. You bitch, ruined a good thing, a perfect stealth stoner job.

  • d

    I’ve been a server at several restaurants and it is so true that at least half of the people preparing, making, cooking, and serving your food or drink are stoners. It’s a guarantee. I sell too and make more money! ha

  • Brewmasters

    1.4g 25 NZ$
    1/2 oz 100-200 nz$
    oz 200-400 nz$
    Hash Oil 1st wash 0.6g 50 nz$

  • Callyboy12

    Cartboy at a golf course. Toking in the cart garage.

  • DocWop

    You could work in just about any aspect of construction, i.e. plumbing, flooring, carpentry, painting, roofing, drywall and most moving companies. Pretty much any labor intensive job is work friendly

  • GreenEyedLady

    I just got a job at head-shop a few days ago. :)

  • Burt

    Everyone Involved In Pizza’s Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High

    AUSTIN, TX–Everyone involved in the preparation, delivery, purchase and consumption of a pizza from Tony’s New York-Style Pizzeria was thoroughly baked off his ass, it was reported Monday.”From its creation at the hands of a stoned-out-of-his-mind pizzeria employee to its eventual consumption by a …

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/everyone-involved-in-pizzas-preparation-delivery-p,504/

  • bewbs

    i deliver pizza and while it is a shitty ass job and a terrible half assed corporation that doesnt give a fuck about their drivers i do get to smoke. might as well, i make three bucks an hour, expected to live off of my shitty $1 tips, paying for my own car repairs, you are god damn right ima blaze nigga! you are stupid if you do this job and aren’t hooked on some kind of drug

    • trucker

      maaan thats the bullshit fuck dat job

    • Tim

      Only a buck? I usually give em 2 or 3 dollars…sometimes 4(if I can afford it when it’s raining).

  • murph

    Lucky you! , wish I lived in OR. I just got done watching the ” how to” sell mj, but it just was a history lesson I already knew. Don’t waste your money. I REALLY need [ in lay terms] to learn to sell. Step by step. You see i’m already cheating the law, lying about our income in order to aquire the MS shots I need to take weeky They cost 1000.00 a week. So you see its not an option to sell or not. I also suffer from severe back pain after having 4 back surgies within 10 months and am so hoping my new product will help. If anyone out there can truly help me, PLEASE bozosmurphy@gmail.com or 262-965-2835

  • painkills2

    There is no one like Pat Benatar :D

  • Fred

    Working at a radio station is another very friendly gig! Especially if its one that plays any sort of rock music, everyone there smokes…

  • Alex

    Real job for a stoner list.

    #1 Inventor – Some if not all of the best inventors were stoners, that is not a coincidence.

    #2 Grower – Who knows more about what really good smoke should be then the person who smokes it on a daily basis?

    #3 Data Analyst – You know what’s great to do in the time when you’re baked, browse shit online, and stoners do that A LOT, which gives them a unique perspective on where what is.

    #4 Therapist – You know who really loves to listen to you and then analyze stuff to the millionth degree STONERS!

  • Jenn408

    I work as a medical office manager for a chiropractor. He knows I’m a MMJ patient and is 100% supportive. Even allowing me to vape on my breaks. Chiropractors usually do encourage “alternative medicine”

  • Rob Price

    I know a better job than any of those!!! Retired Military!!! Paid for the rest of my life!!

    • mike

      you’ve earned it. thank you for watching over us. smoke away!

  • red

    Im a butcher, me and my fellow co-wrks smoke every day and its a great job I make $12.00 just playing with big power tools and lots of bloody meat. Its a dirty job but well worth it. Spending time with fellow tokers. Having fun and telling jokes makes the day go by faster. And burning in the freezer

  • sammygee

    i’m a field service engineer, and when it has come down to my most difficult troubleshoots of a problem, i have had the most luck resolving them back in the hotel after i leave, after a session my mind thinks more logically and more analytically looking at the problem from different aspects, and then its like bam theres the answer

  • rockar169

    Im a recording artist/Musician/performer and a215 patient/grower music and Weed are so amazeing ThankFull indeed!