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An Analysis of Marijuana Strain Names

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marijuana bongThere’s More Marijuana Strain Names Out There Every Day

I used to not care what strains I smoked, so long as they were the super chronic. ‘Call it what you want, I just want to get baked,’ is what I would always say to people. However, as dispensaries become more widespread, and people continue to get seeds from seed banks rather than get their strains from friends, consuming marijuana with a name is becoming more and more common place.

I remember when I smoked my first marijuana that had a name attached to it, ‘The Project.’ It was a pure sativa strain that originated in Hawaii once upon a time (or so the folklore went, you never could be too sure back then!). A family friend was a top grower in my area, and he dedicated a small part of his garden to this new strain that he had recently acquired. He always referred to it as his ‘project.’ Whatever the original name was back in Hawaii became totally irrelevant, because me and my friends always called it ‘The Project.’ The weed was so good that the name stuck, and I still get asked about once every two days if I can still get ‘The Project.’

Some strain names are offending people. Colorado attorney Warren Edson was referred to in a Wall Street Journal article saying that “he would like to throttle the anonymous marijuana breeder who named a potent strain of weed ‘Green Crack.’ He’s not too fond, either, of those breeders who have given strains names like ‘Jack the Ripper,’ ‘White Widow,’ ‘AK-47’ and ‘Trainwreck.’” According to the article, Mr. Edson is ‘in the vanguard of an aggressive movement to make pot respectable–but decades of stoner culture keep dragging him down.’

When I read complaints about marijuana strain names being too violent in nature, I always think about how people that are new to the marijuana culture don’t realize the evolution in strain names. Back in the day, most marijuana consumers called high grade marijuana ‘kill bud.’ I know hundreds of middle aged stoners here in Oregon that ONLY call high grade marijuana ‘kill bud.’ I could lay out 30 different strains in front of them, all of them top notch nugs yet completely different in origin, and they would all be ‘kill bud’ according to these folks.

It makes me laugh every time they say it, but I fully respect their perspective on things. It is out of this slang that most new strains got their name. What is more ‘killer’ than an ‘AK-47,’ or ‘trainwreck,’ or ‘Jack the Ripper?’ The names are descriptive slang for an already established slang term for high grade marijuana. It’s just a theory of mine, but it makes sense to me.

How do TWB readers feel? I personally smoke some ‘Jack the Ripper’ and ‘Trainwreck’ every single day. I’ll tell you what, I LIKE THEM BOTH VERY MUCH! I don’t see anything wrong with the names Mr. Edson mentioned, as long as the marijuana is top notch. In fact, I couldn’t find anyone who was offended. One guy on FB told me, ‘Only narcs and yuppies would try to be classy stoners. Real stoners have grown up with those names throughout their entire stoner evolution, and the only thing they care about is the bite in the bong hit they take.’

I agree with you TC! Since when did pot need to be fancy for people to enjoy it? Don’t get me wrong, if people want to be politically correct then by all means, refer to your ‘fill in the blank with marijuana term’ any way you like. Just remember that being a part of the marijuana culture, by definition, is politically incorrect. So realize that you might not always get people to follow what you’re puttin’ out.

One of my hero’s, Colorado attorney put it best. “Part of normalizing this is putting it in peoples’ faces and saying, ‘You’ll get used to it…Maybe we could come up with holistic names that reflect the wellness idea? Like Harmony…I can tell you, ‘Trainwreck’ isn’t a great name for a medicine…Or maybe it is I’ve heard 75-year-old grandmas say, ‘I need more Trainwreck.’” LOL.

According to High Times, these are the top strain names out there:

FAVORITE INDIVIDUAL STRAINS

1. Blueberry

2. Sour Diesel

3. Train Wreck

4. AK-47

5. White Widow

6. Northern Lights #5

7. Skunk #1

8. OG Kush

9. Boo-Ya

10. BC Bud/Beasters

FAVORITE GROUP STRAINS

1. Berry varieties (includes Blueberry, Strawberry Cough, Shiskaberry, Bubbleberry and various crosses)

2. Purple varieties (includes Purple Haze, Purps, Purple Kush, Purple Star and various crosses)

3. Blue varieties (includes Blueberry, Blue Satellite, Blue Moonshine, Blue Mystic and various crosses)

4. Kush varieties (includes OG Kush, Hindu Kush, Purple Kush, Master Kush and various crosses)

5. Haze varieties (includes Haze, Super Silver Haze, Purple Haze, Amnesia Haze and various crosses)

6. Skunk varieties (includes Skunk, Island Sweet Skunk and various crosses)

7. White varieties (includes White Widow, White Rhino, White Russian and various crosses)

8. Northern Lights varieties (includes Northern Lights #5 and various crosses)

BEST STRAIN NAMES

Ayatyollah, Bammer, Catpiss, Cheese, Comatoast, Dumpster, Euforia, Fast Freddie, Funky Skunky, Green Crack, Jack the Ripper, Neopolitan Dynamite, Piff, Pineapple Dogshit, Presidential Kush, Purple Goddess, Salmon, Sky Walker, Stinky Pinky, Texas Hammer and Velvet Elvis

I always joke with my friends that if there was a strain out there that made you crap your pants, like the ‘Brown Bomber’ off of the movie ‘Grandmas Boy,’ people in Oregon would smoke it. As long as it was the super chronic, we would just sit on the toilet and ride the higher high. I know that’s a vivid illustration that you probably didn’t need, but it highlights the point of this article; strain names don’t really matter, it’s the marijuana itself that counts.

I remember throughout the 90’s in my part of Oregon, if you had something that had a name, it better be top notch nugs or don’t even bother. If I had a dollar for every time someone had the G-13 or AK-47, I would be richer than Scrooge McDuck. On the flip side — if I had a dollar for every time it actually WAS the G-13 or AK-47, I’d still be too broke to buy a candy bar, if that tells you anything. Whenever I helped out friends, I would always be as straight up as possible…’you look at it, and make the educated decision for yourself.’ The only time that I would pass along a name is if it came from some weird guy, and the nickname I had for him stuck with the product itself – such as the ‘Steady Eddy.’

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