What can you tell me about medical cannabis . . . and sex? In other words, I’ve heard that marijuana lowers the libido. But I’ve also heard folks tell me that sex while medicated is fantastic. Is it a preference thing, or something else? Then again, what I’ve heard about booze is that it increases the desire but takes away from the performance. How does cannabis measure up in the intercourse department?
~ Herbally Intimate
Dear Herbally Intimate,
This really depends on what method of cannabis you are ingesting and/or using. Here is a list of methods and why they would help or hinder your stamina:
Flowers: A strain high in THC (tetrahydrocannabinol), the main psychoactive substance found in the cannabis plant, would be more effective than a strain high in CBDs (cannabinoids). CBDs are best for relaxation and as an anti-inflammatory.
Edibles: This probably would be the worst method when it comes to romance. Edibles are best for sleep and chronic pain. Although you can get creative with certain edibles such as the Not So Virgin Olive Oil from The Venice Cookie Co., this oil is so strong that, as massage oil, you actually feel medicated and–so I’ve been told–pretty hot to trot. The best part about this stuff is you can eat it too! Use your own imagination here.
Tincture: This is another form of edible made with alcohol or glycerin and is absorbed sublingually under the tongue into the blood stream just like smoking. It can be pretty heavy and make you tired if it’s made with a strain high in CBDs.
Topical/Lotion: A spray or lotion infused with cannabis is fabulous for massages. Just like the olive oil mentioned above, it can be very helpful to get the evening started off right. I have personally used the The Natural Relief Cannalgesic and was highly satisfied. (www.cannalgesic.com)
Hemp Lubricant: Yes, that’s what I said, a hemp lubricant! I recently heard about this product but have yet to try it myself but it sure sounds delightful though.
If you refer back to my June column online at www.freeculturemag.com you will read about cannabis and sperm.
If I’m having some friends (patients) over to sample a new strain, is it considered good manners to offer marijuana to the newest patient of the group? Or should the host always sample the cannabis first? Not sure what the etiquette is.
~ Proper Pot Manners
Dear Proper Pot Manners,
Cannabis etiquette is a forte of mine. Here are some “hempful” (helpful) cannabis courtesy tips for anyone who medicates with other patients:
Offer cannabis to the newest patient of the group first. Then as a courtesy they should hand it to you. You can decide if you want to take it or pass it to all the guests first.
If you are the first person to medicate, or as I like to say “take greens,” please don’t torch the cannabis. You can light just a corner of the bowl, leaving up to 3 more guests to “take greens” as well.
If you are rolling joints for a group of patients, have a small dish of water and use a clean finger for sealing versus licking it.
Now if you are medicating with a joint, please pass it to the next guest BEFORE you start telling a new story, otherwise you might be called a “Bogarter.”
If you know the bowl is “dust” or the joint has turned into a “roach,” please don’t pass it to the next guest hoping they will take care of it.
Always have clean apparatuses for your guests. Like I say, “Just say no to dirty water pipes.” (Refer to my March column online at www.freeculturemag.com for directions on cleaning your bong)
If attending a patient event, it is a courtesy to come with some kind of contribution/donation. This could be flowers or your favorite medicated dish. Plus, you don’t want to be the “mooch” all night.
I’m all about pretty girls, but why are budtenders hot chicks, instead of knowledgeable smokers, or ex-growers? Is this the image medical marijuana deserves?
~ Patient 215
Dear Patient 215,
I was a patient consultant (budtender) for almost four years so I can relate to this question. Having heard about these horrible stories with male collective operators that only hire, as you say, “hot chicks,” it makes me sad. I fully promote my motto “Class and Cannabis” not “Sex and Weed.” Now, on the other hand, if this person is extremely educated and knowledgeable about cannabis it shouldn’t matter what they look like. Also, it is imperative that the patient consultant actually be a patient. It’s so frustrating when they say, “I don’t know if that strain is good because I don’t smoke cannabis.”
I have noticed there are so many names of the strains in the collectives. It is really hard to keep track of them all. What do you suggest?
~ Puzzled Patient
Dear Puzzled Patient,
Cannabis is like wine and roses, there are so many different kinds. I suggest you write a cannabis journal/diary to keep track of them. After all, what do people do when they feel bad? They go to their medicine cabinet, right? If they have a headache, they pop a pill; if they have a stomachache they drink some pink stuff. Well, as a cannabis patient I would personally choose Northern Lights for my headache and Purple Erkle for my stomach ache.
Here are some cannabis journal/diary entry ideas:
What is the name of the strain?
What are the genetics of the strain? (i.e. Boo-na-nie is a sativa dominant hybrid cross of Blueberry, Maui Wowie, Pineapple and Banana.)
Is it a Sativa, Indica or Hybrid? If Hybrid, what is the percentage of Sativa vs. Indica? (Sometimes you can find this out in books like The Big Book of Buds series, but you can also be the judge on how it makes you feel.)
How was the strength for you? (Remember everyone reacts differently to the same strain and dose.)
What are the percentages of THC and CBD? (A laboratory would test the cannabis on an instrument called a gas chromatograph and the collective would know the percentages.)
What does it smell like? (i.e. fruity, sweet, citrus, musky)
What does it taste like?
What effects does it make you feel? (i.e. Did it make you sleep, eat or stay focused?)
How long were you medicated?
What collective did you acquire it from?
How much was the donation to the collective?
For your protection, please keep this journal/diary in a protected place such as a locked safe. If you type it into your cell phone, please protect it with a password. In a legal situation this can be used as evidence, especially if you chart the collectives you’ve visited and donations.
Got a burning question about love, life and/or the pursuit of medicine? Ask Sarah Diesel, medical-marijuana advocate and L.A.’s Countess of Class and Cannabis. Just keep your questions short, straightforward and obscenity-free, and email them to AskSarah@freeculturemag.com.