March 31, 2012

Cigarette Smokers Need To Quit Stealing My Marijuana Lighter

March 31, 2012
scooby-doo-bong

scooby-doo-bongDo You Have A Tobacco Smoker That Steals Your Lighter?

I smoke marijuana all day long. I do not smoke cigarettes. As a result, I am the victim of lighter theft on a daily basis. It’s like Phillip Morris has a conspiracy against me. His tobacco consumers are lurking near every pipe and bong waiting for me to put my lighter down or pass it along with the piece so they can jack it. It’s always the same story – thorough smoke session occurs, I don’t realize the lighter is gone until the next time I smoke, which is usually about the same time that I get the infamous text of, ‘bro I’m totally sorry, I have your lighter.’ Mother F right?

A marijuana consumer can make a lighter last the entire duration of the lighter’s functional life. A cigarette smoker has probably never purchased a lighter in their life, unknowingly stole the lighter they currently use from a cannabis consumer, and will use it until some other death stick smoker comes along and heists it from them. It’s like the Bic circle of life. I have been able to fend off the ‘Camel crowd’ for a couple of life cycles of Bic’s, and have actually seen them go from out of the package thru their final flame. I doubt any cigarette smokers have actually seen that happen. They have no doubt been there for the death of many lighters, but not their beginnings lol.

As many disgruntled marijuana-only people have tried, I have tried etching my name in the lighter to let people know it’s mine. I have put other identifying marks on them. I have tried to stick to one color to be ‘my color’ of lighter among my friends, including really lame colors that I wouldn’t expect anyone to ever want for themselves. Yet no matter what I do, the lighters disappear faster than a mj dealer at a K-9 convention. To really make things frustrating, time after time I will see one of my friends firing up a cigarette, and sure enough they are lighting it with a lighter that has my name on it or something else identifying it as mine. The person is always apologetic and give sit back, but that didn’t help me when I was trying to wake ‘n bake this morning!

As anyone who knows me will attest, I smoke primarily out of one form of device – the waterfall. For those of you that don’t know what a waterfall is, it’s basically a two liter bottle with a hole in the bottom that gives you major hits. I’ve also heard it referred to as a ‘third lung’, ‘aqua lung,’ and simply ‘the liter.’ Don’t confuse the waterfall with it’s cousin, the gravity bong, which is a different engineering feat in itself. I use the waterfall because it’s fast, effective, and uses minimal smoke. That’s not to say that I don’t smoke out of the bong, pipe, vape, etc. But as Ninjasmoker will tell you, I pretty much just stick to the waterfall more often than not.

Since I smoke waterfalls so much, I have set up a waterfall station at my house. The lighter never, ever leaves the waterfall area if there are no cigarette smokers around. I have a lighter right now that has actually lasted a couple of weeks, which is a solid streak around my house. I’ve always wanted to see how long I could actually keep the same functional Bic, kind of like seeing how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop I suppose. I have mild OCD currently, so I guess I’m saving that day for when I go full blown.

What tricks and tips do TWB readers have for keeping their lighters? Do you have the retracting string deal? I’d imagine you don’t lose your lighter as much, although you may look questionable to the fashion crowd lol. I think I may have come across a device that could solve this problem for a lot of people. The inventors of the ‘LighterMate‘ were kind enough to send over a sample of their product for our review. The concept is simple, but the positive impact on my life will no doubt be significant. Essentially, it’s a magnetic lighter.

Like I said, I do most of my smoking at my waterfall area which is right next to my sink. Whenever I need my lighter, it’s stuck to the fridge, and the second I’m done using it, it goes right back up on the fridge. Whenever I leave the house I usually bring a tin of mj with me, and the LighterMate sticks to it easily making transportation of a smoke kit very easy. Even though I despise cigarettes, I would be remiss to not point out the benefits to cigarette smokers as well. Each lighter comes with a magnetic card that you can put under your plastic cellophane which makes the lighter attach to your pack of nasty sticks. This excites me even as a non-cigarette smoker, because it increases the likelihood of you having your own lighter at sparking time instead of plotting on mine! Make sure to check out the LighterMate site. They make all kinds of awesome stuff.

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