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Cigarette Smokers Need To Quit Stealing My Marijuana Lighter

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scooby-doo-bongDo You Have A Tobacco Smoker That Steals Your Lighter?

I smoke marijuana all day long. I do not smoke cigarettes. As a result, I am the victim of lighter theft on a daily basis. It’s like Phillip Morris has a conspiracy against me. His tobacco consumers are lurking near every pipe and bong waiting for me to put my lighter down or pass it along with the piece so they can jack it. It’s always the same story – thorough smoke session occurs, I don’t realize the lighter is gone until the next time I smoke, which is usually about the same time that I get the infamous text of, ‘bro I’m totally sorry, I have your lighter.’ Mother F right?

A marijuana consumer can make a lighter last the entire duration of the lighter’s functional life. A cigarette smoker has probably never purchased a lighter in their life, unknowingly stole the lighter they currently use from a cannabis consumer, and will use it until some other death stick smoker comes along and heists it from them. It’s like the Bic circle of life. I have been able to fend off the ‘Camel crowd’ for a couple of life cycles of Bic’s, and have actually seen them go from out of the package thru their final flame. I doubt any cigarette smokers have actually seen that happen. They have no doubt been there for the death of many lighters, but not their beginnings lol.

As many disgruntled marijuana-only people have tried, I have tried etching my name in the lighter to let people know it’s mine. I have put other identifying marks on them. I have tried to stick to one color to be ‘my color’ of lighter among my friends, including really lame colors that I wouldn’t expect anyone to ever want for themselves. Yet no matter what I do, the lighters disappear faster than a mj dealer at a K-9 convention. To really make things frustrating, time after time I will see one of my friends firing up a cigarette, and sure enough they are lighting it with a lighter that has my name on it or something else identifying it as mine. The person is always apologetic and give sit back, but that didn’t help me when I was trying to wake ‘n bake this morning!

As anyone who knows me will attest, I smoke primarily out of one form of device – the waterfall. For those of you that don’t know what a waterfall is, it’s basically a two liter bottle with a hole in the bottom that gives you major hits. I’ve also heard it referred to as a ‘third lung’, ‘aqua lung,’ and simply ‘the liter.’ Don’t confuse the waterfall with it’s cousin, the gravity bong, which is a different engineering feat in itself. I use the waterfall because it’s fast, effective, and uses minimal smoke. That’s not to say that I don’t smoke out of the bong, pipe, vape, etc. But as Ninjasmoker will tell you, I pretty much just stick to the waterfall more often than not.

Since I smoke waterfalls so much, I have set up a waterfall station at my house. The lighter never, ever leaves the waterfall area if there are no cigarette smokers around. I have a lighter right now that has actually lasted a couple of weeks, which is a solid streak around my house. I’ve always wanted to see how long I could actually keep the same functional Bic, kind of like seeing how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop I suppose. I have mild OCD currently, so I guess I’m saving that day for when I go full blown.

What tricks and tips do TWB readers have for keeping their lighters? Do you have the retracting string deal? I’d imagine you don’t lose your lighter as much, although you may look questionable to the fashion crowd lol. I think I may have come across a device that could solve this problem for a lot of people. The inventors of the ‘LighterMate‘ were kind enough to send over a sample of their product for our review. The concept is simple, but the positive impact on my life will no doubt be significant. Essentially, it’s a magnetic lighter.

Like I said, I do most of my smoking at my waterfall area which is right next to my sink. Whenever I need my lighter, it’s stuck to the fridge, and the second I’m done using it, it goes right back up on the fridge. Whenever I leave the house I usually bring a tin of mj with me, and the LighterMate sticks to it easily making transportation of a smoke kit very easy. Even though I despise cigarettes, I would be remiss to not point out the benefits to cigarette smokers as well. Each lighter comes with a magnetic card that you can put under your plastic cellophane which makes the lighter attach to your pack of nasty sticks. This excites me even as a non-cigarette smoker, because it increases the likelihood of you having your own lighter at sparking time instead of plotting on mine! Make sure to check out the LighterMate site. They make all kinds of awesome stuff.

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  • I was not compensated in anyway for this article. But thanks for the comment!

  • john

    Where I’m from, no one really steals anyone’s lighters. Usually with smoking with others everyone else has their own lighter weather they smoke marijuana or cigarettes. Also its normal if someone looses someones lighter, we buy them a new one or give them ours.

  • richardschimelfenig

    Blatant advertising masquerading as an article

  • deseag50

    Hemp wick is awesome!

  • deseag50

    Hemp wick is awesome!

  • 2buds4me

    Iolite – no lighter required. Just don’t run out of fuel in the middle of a vape session.

  • sirsmoke420

    being from kentucky a verry small town in kentucky i have never seen these no where wheres the love for us out here in this dismal place

  • funnelmuddler

    A buddy of mine has a little lighter pouch attached to a string, which has an elastic ring at the end, allowing you to slip it over the top of your bong so it stays put! You could tether a contraption such as this to your waterfall station

  • GsCheny

    If you pop off the red button (used to press for gas) it will be very recognizable for few people know of the trick

  • Starshipjefferson

    Hahaha truest tale I ever read on weedblog.com heheh

  • Marley King

    For sessions at home with others, just have one of those bigger BBQ style lighters… bigger/adjustable flame, some have a flexible neck to point that flame in the right direction, larger fuel reserve/refillable when it counts (mid session, who wants to drive to 7/11 only for lighters?) And importantly way too big to pocket, unless the ‘borrower’ is wearing a shoplifting trench coat ;) When out and about, don’t let your BIC get into circulation… The host has the responsibility to provide a clean bong and a hot flame… I remove the safety band in the middle so it turns over easier and I know it’s mine, just pop it out with scissors or such, press sharp bits back down… JMHSO

  • love this! i decorate mine with nail polish… polka dots… stripes etc… my nail polish lighters are rarely stolen :)

  • love this! i decorate mine with nail polish… polka dots… stripes etc… my nail polish lighters are rarely stolen :)

  • love this! i decorate mine with nail polish… polka dots… stripes etc… my nail polish lighters are rarely stolen :)

  • love this! i decorate mine with nail polish… polka dots… stripes etc… my nail polish lighters are rarely stolen :)

  • A SOLO-PIPE IS ALL YOU NEED!!

  • Choofer Lomph

    i got a vintage lighter off of ebay and fixed it up, it stands way out from normal lighters so people notice that its yours. mines a sweet polished metal table lighter, so it just sits on the table and is way bigger and bulkier than a bic, not easy to just put in your pocket.

  • HempWick.com

    Use a candle and HempWick…. #1 Light HempWick with lighter (HIDE LIGHTER) #2 Use HempWick to light candle…. Then use the candle to re-light the HempWick… No lighters used in session = no lighters lost :) Or wrap your lighter in a bunch of HempWick so it’s not the normal size of a lighter and maybe they’ll realize it before pocketing it…. or they’ll just want it more because it has HempWick on it. Do you want some HempWick? We’d be happy to mail you some…. it works great with waterfalls! ? :)