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How Can You Tell If You Are A Marijuana Veteran?

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Tommy ChongAre You A Marijuana Veteran?

Doesn’t it seem like there is a lot of posturing involved in the marijuana scene? How many times have you pulled out your nugs just to have the person you are smoking it will explain to you how they can get better, they ‘know a guy’, etc. It gets old doesn’t it? Especially when you know the person giving the explanation is a rookie. What do I mean by rookie? If you can’t relate to the topics below, then I’m sorry to break it to you, you are still a rookie most likely. These are some, but not all of the ways to spot a veteran, most suggested by my Facebook friends. If readers have more to add, please do so in the comments:

If You Have Used A Triple Beam Scale

If you have never used a triple beam scale, or even worse, you don’t even know what a triple beam scale is, then you are likely not a marijuana veteran. Ask your weird uncle about it, he will pull his out of the closet and show you. My weird uncle kept his on his coffee table when I would come over as a kid, I would always see a red pen mark at 3.5 grams…It wasn’t until I made my first purchase from a friend in the early 90’s that I put two and two together!

If You Know The Weight Of Every Plastic Bag On The Market

I can walk along the sandwich bag aisle of any supermarket and tell you the weight of any of the bags. And not just the name brands. I can go to the Dollar Tree, I can go to the generic brands, heck, sometimes I can just feel a bag and tell you the make and model and weight. I know I’m not alone. My friends and I once did market research to see how many brands had the highly sought after weight of exactly 1 gram. I personally don’t like those – I prefer the Glad ‘fold-top’ in the yellow bag. Weight between 1.2-1.4 grams. The plastic slides much smoother, which is one of my Obsessive Compulsive pet peeves.

If You Refer To Marijuana As ‘Kill Bud’ or ‘Skunk’

I don’t know any rookies that call marijuana ‘kill bud’ or say that it is ‘skunky.’ But everyone of my aunts and uncles do, and they serious veterans. These people also refer to ounces as ‘lids’ and are known to have lots of classic rock cassette tapes and vinyls around. They also smoke out of plastic bongs that haven’t been cleaned since the early 80’s.

If Your Marijuana Books Are Older Than Five Years, And They Actually Have Been Read

If you have more than one marijuana book, it is more than five years old, and it has so many creases in it that it is obvious that it has been read many times. If you have a copy of an Ed Rosenthal book with noticeable grow nutrient stains on some of the pages, then you are a true veteran (and likely grow some amazing green!).

If You Have A Collection Of Cannabis Culture Magazines

I know many, many people with High Times magazines, even old ones. But I don’t consider them to be veterans, because High Times magazines are easy to come by. Cannabis Culture magazines are very rare to find after they stopped print in 2009. I remember when Cannabis Culture launched in the mid-90’s. It was known in Oregon as the ‘veterans’ choice for cannabis info. That’s not a knock on High Times, they are very entertaining to read. But High Times focuses more on the pop culture side of things, whereas Cannabis Culture was just all about cannabis.

If You Find Buds In Your House That You Never Even Missed

Have you ever bought a new piece of furniture, and when you remove the old one you find a nug or two underneath? It’s all crispy with a piece of lint on it. It’s usually next to the crusty, decaying potato chip. If this has happened to you, and you don’t even remember losing that nugget because you smoke so often, then you are probably a marijuana veteran. One of my friends recently bought his first new couch in 15ish years. When we inevitably found a couple of nuggets, my friend stated that he didn’t remember losing them. But he did pick one of them up, cleaned it off, gave it a pinch and said, ‘oh wow, some sweet tooth, let’s smoke it.’ Now that my friends is a true marijuana veteran!

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109 Comments

  1. I’m batting a thousand! I’ll add another: if you have grow shots from before Reagan was president and a copy of the High Times Encyclopedia.

  2. If you remember that the weed you could get in Oakland came in regular or menthol you might be a 
    Veteran.

  3. Mommyslilplaytoy on

    you know your a veteran if when you started smoking when weed was sold by the lid!!!

  4. You know who Freewheelin’ Franklin, Fat Freddie, and  Phineas are, you had jars of seeds collected  from “cleaning” your weed, your old clothes are full of burn holes from seeds, remembering the introduction of sensimilia-the wonder of seedless pot….

  5. my pipe collection is worth more than my car heck my vaporizer cost more than the tires.
    Also the fancy names i call my smoke are indica and sativa,
    ….. am i a vet?

  6. My wife keeps her triple beam in the cabinet in the kitchen. Once, when we lived in San Diego, our cat “Fred” Brought us a nug that we did’ent remember loseing! A Good boy indeed!

  7. What three letter word does a cannabis consumer use the most….ear… get it? I’m a veteran…I remember Cut Corners,bags of seeds, using a card to help remove seeds, a lid, watching Cheech and Chong’s Up in smoke when it first came out!

  8. Highhopes420 on

    While half of these I agree would help classify someone as a veteran I have to disagree with some of the others for example your books being more than 5 years old or stained. Not having them stained means you take extra care of your books as for the 5 years point it simply means you haven’t been in to the culture as long as a lot of the people out there. Cannabis culture magazines if you started in 2010 you could meet 4/6 so there for those aren’t correct. Also when it comes to the terminology like lids, skunk, and kill buds I do not believe that not using those terms disqualifies you but you should simply be aware of them and know what they mean.

  9. Sadly I’m a veteran on all counts.  But again I’m probably not a veteran at all.  I mean think about it.  Most veterans of War at least have a victory to talk about.  We have had no victories in the last 75 years.

  10. I never owned triple beams ( but knew who did and used his); I never calculated plastic various bag weights; I never referred to pot as “kill bud” or “skunk”  (not until the 90’s when I moved to B.C…best cannabis); I never owned growing books or pot mags, although I did own/read (and still have!) “A Child’s Garden of Grass”…BUT….I remember the first oil I bought was a dollop on foil, and we smoked hash from pipes we made from cigarette packages or pop cans, and for $10 you could buy a “dime” of weed, which was about an ounce! I loved Cheech & Chong and Pink Floyd and mastered joint rolling by age 15 (’73). And for sure I am a “pot vet” since I have toked regularily for 33yrs.( I prefer the term “pothead”).

  11. [f u no what a lid is and not the 1 u put on top a bowl,a nickel ,a dime ,strawberry paper?

  12. When your whole family smokes weed and ur parents tell you You were conceived when they were high as fuck. And ive been smoking for 29 yrs :)

  13. Wow. So, I had my hand in the bag weight thing, used triple beams for many substances, found random weed laying around under furniture and such while rearranging, never had canna-culture mag, but have read it. Kill-bud, skunk, chronic, dank, kind, green buds… old school names galore. Also my mother owns and grew from Ed Rosenthals MJ growers handbook. Yea… been down all these roads in the past twenty years of smoking.

  14. it could only be indica or sativa. those are the only two forms of cannibis. one makes u sleepy/stones..the other is a light energetic/heady high

  15. James Burtnett on

    I guess after smoking for 44 years that would instantly qualify me as a MARIJUANA VETERAN!

  16. Rose Ann Galasso Richardson on

    U ain’t nevah gonna need a ” CRUTCH ” if your a Veteran, Ain’t even close to one of those get,,, maybe in 20 yrs when I’m 81

  17. When your kid is nicknamed “Doobie” because he brought joy and giggles into your life! If you can carve an apple pipe in less than 3 minutes you are probably a veteran also.

  18. Im definitely a veteran pothead. I remember paying twenty five bucks for a quarter and it was two fingers deep across the whole botyom of the bag. Been blazin now some 29 years. Always have and always will love that kind bud.

  19. this is so fucking stupid. You are a veteran because you know how much plastic bags weigh? Get the fuck out of here goof kid.

  20. A fun title… however, eye balling weight in a bag means more than the weight of the bag, not to mention scale calibration trumps that further hence using a nickel (5 grams) is a quick easy decent way to confirm calibration and imo a more veteran fact. If you have scrapped out then stoved a pipe, taken knife hits, cut a 2 liter for a gravity bong if you smoked through an apple before the 80s you’re a super OG…OH ya… if all the faucets in your parents house are missing their screens…you are definitely a veteran;)

  21. I still use my triple beam Ohaus that I got in 1971 and I was smokin’ years before I had even heard of Cheech and Chong.

  22. This sounds like anyone under 45 doesn’t know much about pot…right? There are digital scales now that are more accurate and fit in your pocket and don’t make it look like you’re a trafficker. There are also many informational websites (like this one) that don’t have you quickly rearranging your bookshelf when your in laws say they just got into town. Not saying that memorabilia and stuff isn’t cool but thats not really what smoking the herb is about. Its about chilling out relieving stress and fellowship. Knowing your bag weight is good but hopefully you aren’t still buying lids on the corner and are smart enough to eye it out from experience or scale it. I don’t really care but I feel like weed is about transcending categories and unifying all.

  23. I don’t think you need any ” qualifications ” to say your a veteran 1980 and still going strong haha

  24. These a other are okay, but if You can lick your fingertips and figure the weight of any bag (within a .2-3 radius) is another. along with being able to tell you the strain by the taste (at least 75% of the time) you also have a plethora Of pipes bongs, homemade steam rollers,different size papers, and some sort of vaporizer, among other contraptions and you can also make anything into an apparatus for good times. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head but there are plenty more.let it be noted I’m not saying I can do any of these things,just an observation

  25. I’m a veteran….LOL guilty of all but the pile of magazines. Nobody used to have digitals, they were expensive and small…. Haven’t seen triple beams in years though.

  26. I agree, knowledge is knowledge… Vetrin or not, if you know about the plant and not how much a bag weighs, your a vetrin of you can name strains and tastes off just the smell of the herb.. ..

  27. all categories fit, including the triple beams….ALTHOUGH Im highly partial to the larger digi’s….usually from 0.1-1000g

  28. lol, u know ur a vet when uncle comes down stairs and says boys its froggy down here, and says i’ll back and when he comes back he has his bongo’s in one hand, and says it feels like san fran, in the late 60’s i’m proud of my boys!

  29. NAThere are THREE different strains of cannabis; indica, sativa, and REUDERALIS. EVERYONE knows about the first two, but MOST people don’t know about the last one. Reuderalis is the plant that THIS COUNTRY was founded on. Gorge Washington, Thomas Jefferson, EVERY AMERICAN! Grew CANNABIS. Up until the 1800’s it WAS the LAW TO GROW HEMP! Hell Henry Ford made a car out of hemp that was a plastic that was 10x stronger then steal and used hemp “gas”.

  30. If you used to buy lids of Mexican for $10, or $15 for Jamaican. And know what “dirt weed” is, and dislike it.

  31. Rose Mary Howell Kelly on

    I don’t see what you see…Tommy Chong is a treasure….just where are the 3 6’s at??

  32. Here’s how I tell a pro from a noob. When you pull out a pound, of the death, the noobs eyes light up like a Christmas tree.

  33. Rose Mary Howell Kelly on

    I don’t see what you see…where are the 3 6’s at?? All I see is the amazing treasure Tommy Chung!

  34. if you know WHAT panama red is and have actually smoked some..It was killed off in the late 70’s with paraquat..

  35. My asshole old roommate in the 80s cause he beat his gf stole my triple beam when I was moving out hey Tom Fillipone you bugged eyed freak.

  36. When I grew in the 1970s my prime purple indica was known as “Ceremonial Death Weed” and my best cross was “Dream Street Rose”. I Grew in the forest land of central Indiana. My circle of grower friend included Robert Connel Clarke author of “HASHISH”. He had moved to our area, following the publication of his masters thesis and first book “MARIJUANA”, to grow with us locals to learn about growing good pot
    in a more diverse climate than California we range from -35deg. to +115 in extreme years. The first time I made hashish was with Rob Clarke, sitting in the bed of his Ford F-150 on a January day at -15deg. filtering pounds of his shake and small buds through 5 gauges of brass lab filters down to final pure crystal size. We froze our asses off but were much tougher 40 years ago. the bubble bag method is the same principle of filtration, step-down in size, but a lot better on oneself and for production. When I started smoking pot 45 yrs ago I bought lids and nickel bags and bricks(kilo). My lung, heart and circulatory system are all in excellent health and the pot surely helps with my arthritis. Also bought a beautiful Ohaus 1000 gram stainless steel triple beam for $15 last summer. I just like having it to look at as well as it still weighs beautifully accurate.

  37. Censimillia. Gold Bud. Panama rush, A lid?? OH YA! Kind bud, purple haze now that used to be the sh-t!!! OLD SCHOOL!!!

  38. All I know is he’ll steal your woman then he’ll rob your head. Bet your old lady’s up in bed with old Panama Red.

  39. Are you kidding? You’re a marijuana veteran if you’ve got a felony record for cultivation or sales. Period.

  40. You’re a marijuana veteran if you remember weed before sinsemilla. Weed (lbs) came in big blocks (compressed) and you had to steam them open or you would end up with pot dust. Full of seeds! We had Jamaican red and Columbian gold and Mexican brown. Metal pipes were the vogue back then, No one had ever seen a glass pipe. Bongs didn’t really exist (there were water pipes though). When bongs first showed up, they were all made of ceramic. Rolling papers were thick as paper bags and tasted about the same. High Times magazine was just a pipe dream. Hash oil was black and like tar and was way better than the crap they sell these days as oil. Everyone shared their weed, and no one smoked alone. Weed was about 400 $ a pound

  41. If U Remember Lids Acapolco gold sheebe Michwacon U Could By A Lid 4 $40 By The Way A Lid Is 2 Ounces We Sure Have Come A Long Way Baby

  42. If you remember smoking Thai stick at 16 years old in 1964 paid 10 for your first ounce of gold paid 60 for your first pound and it had 24 ounces in it rolled the longest joints in competition with your friends and still smoke weed at 67 you are a marijuana veteran.

  43. what a load of shit. none of this means anyting i smoke weed not read about it. id nly have a scales if i was selling. kill bud and skunk is slang from werever ur from and so wat if u know how much ur plastic bag weighs. ive found lots of weed i didnt know i had but tats because i got high not because im a rookie r a veteran nd hu cares i smoke weed because i like it

  44. Richard S. Bank on

    Is it just me or does weed make you live longer. All of my non smoker friends are dead and my head friends are old and creaky-we are all in our seventies or more-but most of us are fine and the guy I buy from has a triple beam, I didn’t know that digitals were the standard.

  45. Oh good lord. I’ve been smoking pot for 40 years and I have no relationship with any of the above.

  46. The feds used a 400 pound platform scale against me at my trial. And, yes, back in the 1970’s, I had an Ohaus triple beam…complete with the extra weights that increased its capacity… You just cannot beat good equipment…

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