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How Can You Tell If You Are A Marijuana Veteran?


Tommy ChongAre You A Marijuana Veteran?

Doesn’t it seem like there is a lot of posturing involved in the marijuana scene? How many times have you pulled out your nugs just to have the person you are smoking it will explain to you how they can get better, they ‘know a guy’, etc. It gets old doesn’t it? Especially when you know the person giving the explanation is a rookie. What do I mean by rookie? If you can’t relate to the topics below, then I’m sorry to break it to you, you are still a rookie most likely. These are some, but not all of the ways to spot a veteran, most suggested by my Facebook friends. If readers have more to add, please do so in the comments:

If You Have Used A Triple Beam Scale

If you have never used a triple beam scale, or even worse, you don’t even know what a triple beam scale is, then you are likely not a marijuana veteran. Ask your weird uncle about it, he will pull his out of the closet and show you. My weird uncle kept his on his coffee table when I would come over as a kid, I would always see a red pen mark at 3.5 grams…It wasn’t until I made my first purchase from a friend in the early 90’s that I put two and two together!

If You Know The Weight Of Every Plastic Bag On The Market

I can walk along the sandwich bag aisle of any supermarket and tell you the weight of any of the bags. And not just the name brands. I can go to the Dollar Tree, I can go to the generic brands, heck, sometimes I can just feel a bag and tell you the make and model and weight. I know I’m not alone. My friends and I once did market research to see how many brands had the highly sought after weight of exactly 1 gram. I personally don’t like those – I prefer the Glad ‘fold-top’ in the yellow bag. Weight between 1.2-1.4 grams. The plastic slides much smoother, which is one of my Obsessive Compulsive pet peeves.

If You Refer To Marijuana As ‘Kill Bud’ or ‘Skunk’

I don’t know any rookies that call marijuana ‘kill bud’ or say that it is ‘skunky.’ But everyone of my aunts and uncles do, and they serious veterans. These people also refer to ounces as ‘lids’ and are known to have lots of classic rock cassette tapes and vinyls around. They also smoke out of plastic bongs that haven’t been cleaned since the early 80’s.

If Your Marijuana Books Are Older Than Five Years, And They Actually Have Been Read

If you have more than one marijuana book, it is more than five years old, and it has so many creases in it that it is obvious that it has been read many times. If you have a copy of an Ed Rosenthal book with noticeable grow nutrient stains on some of the pages, then you are a true veteran (and likely grow some amazing green!).

If You Have A Collection Of Cannabis Culture Magazines

I know many, many people with High Times magazines, even old ones. But I don’t consider them to be veterans, because High Times magazines are easy to come by. Cannabis Culture magazines are very rare to find after they stopped print in 2009. I remember when Cannabis Culture launched in the mid-90’s. It was known in Oregon as the ‘veterans’ choice for cannabis info. That’s not a knock on High Times, they are very entertaining to read. But High Times focuses more on the pop culture side of things, whereas Cannabis Culture was just all about cannabis.

If You Find Buds In Your House That You Never Even Missed

Have you ever bought a new piece of furniture, and when you remove the old one you find a nug or two underneath? It’s all crispy with a piece of lint on it. It’s usually next to the crusty, decaying potato chip. If this has happened to you, and you don’t even remember losing that nugget because you smoke so often, then you are probably a marijuana veteran. One of my friends recently bought his first new couch in 15ish years. When we inevitably found a couple of nuggets, my friend stated that he didn’t remember losing them. But he did pick one of them up, cleaned it off, gave it a pinch and said, ‘oh wow, some sweet tooth, let’s smoke it.’ Now that my friends is a true marijuana veteran!


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  • painkills2

  • painkills2

    Hope you don’t have pets :)

  • Always finding bud under the couch..

  • HCV

    I keep looking for Bamboo papers. To me it’s the only paper I can roll with.

  • theskeptic2

    I think I still have my copy…time for a search…that was a good book…

  • theskeptic2

    The feds used a 400 pound platform scale against me at my trial. And, yes, back in the 1970’s, I had an Ohaus triple beam…complete with the extra weights that increased its capacity… You just cannot beat good equipment…

  • s

    if u ever used the paper from the cheech and chong album

  • wawamama

    Oh good lord. I’ve been smoking pot for 40 years and I have no relationship with any of the above.

  • Richard S. Bank

    Is it just me or does weed make you live longer. All of my non smoker friends are dead and my head friends are old and creaky-we are all in our seventies or more-but most of us are fine and the guy I buy from has a triple beam, I didn’t know that digitals were the standard.

  • Richard S. Bank

    My memories exactly

  • rollo

    what a load of shit. none of this means anyting i smoke weed not read about it. id nly have a scales if i was selling. kill bud and skunk is slang from werever ur from and so wat if u know how much ur plastic bag weighs. ive found lots of weed i didnt know i had but tats because i got high not because im a rookie r a veteran nd hu cares i smoke weed because i like it

  • Moose1947

    If you remember smoking Thai stick at 16 years old in 1964 paid 10 for your first ounce of gold paid 60 for your first pound and it had 24 ounces in it rolled the longest joints in competition with your friends and still smoke weed at 67 you are a marijuana veteran.

  • Michael Arnold

    If you remember 3 for 5

  • noelhurlburt

    If U Remember Lids Acapolco gold sheebe Michwacon U Could By A Lid 4 $40 By The Way A Lid Is 2 Ounces We Sure Have Come A Long Way Baby

  • Kore Walters

    You’re a marijuana veteran if you remember weed before sinsemilla. Weed (lbs) came in big blocks (compressed) and you had to steam them open or you would end up with pot dust. Full of seeds! We had Jamaican red and Columbian gold and Mexican brown. Metal pipes were the vogue back then, No one had ever seen a glass pipe. Bongs didn’t really exist (there were water pipes though). When bongs first showed up, they were all made of ceramic. Rolling papers were thick as paper bags and tasted about the same. High Times magazine was just a pipe dream. Hash oil was black and like tar and was way better than the crap they sell these days as oil. Everyone shared their weed, and no one smoked alone. Weed was about 400 $ a pound

  • elcuervo

    lol – or when you used to buy kilos for less than an 1/8th costs now.

  • UnGorille

    It’s actually Sinsemilla (sin-without and semilla-seed)

  • painkills2

    I see new ads from High Times… And that Blue Dream t-shirt is really cool.

  • Jim

    Damn I got old quick…