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How Can You Tell If You Are A Marijuana Veteran?

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Tommy ChongAre You A Marijuana Veteran?

Doesn’t it seem like there is a lot of posturing involved in the marijuana scene? How many times have you pulled out your nugs just to have the person you are smoking it will explain to you how they can get better, they ‘know a guy’, etc. It gets old doesn’t it? Especially when you know the person giving the explanation is a rookie. What do I mean by rookie? If you can’t relate to the topics below, then I’m sorry to break it to you, you are still a rookie most likely. These are some, but not all of the ways to spot a veteran, most suggested by my Facebook friends. If readers have more to add, please do so in the comments:

If You Have Used A Triple Beam Scale

If you have never used a triple beam scale, or even worse, you don’t even know what a triple beam scale is, then you are likely not a marijuana veteran. Ask your weird uncle about it, he will pull his out of the closet and show you. My weird uncle kept his on his coffee table when I would come over as a kid, I would always see a red pen mark at 3.5 grams…It wasn’t until I made my first purchase from a friend in the early 90’s that I put two and two together!

If You Know The Weight Of Every Plastic Bag On The Market

I can walk along the sandwich bag aisle of any supermarket and tell you the weight of any of the bags. And not just the name brands. I can go to the Dollar Tree, I can go to the generic brands, heck, sometimes I can just feel a bag and tell you the make and model and weight. I know I’m not alone. My friends and I once did market research to see how many brands had the highly sought after weight of exactly 1 gram. I personally don’t like those – I prefer the Glad ‘fold-top’ in the yellow bag. Weight between 1.2-1.4 grams. The plastic slides much smoother, which is one of my Obsessive Compulsive pet peeves.

If You Refer To Marijuana As ‘Kill Bud’ or ‘Skunk’

I don’t know any rookies that call marijuana ‘kill bud’ or say that it is ‘skunky.’ But everyone of my aunts and uncles do, and they serious veterans. These people also refer to ounces as ‘lids’ and are known to have lots of classic rock cassette tapes and vinyls around. They also smoke out of plastic bongs that haven’t been cleaned since the early 80’s.

If Your Marijuana Books Are Older Than Five Years, And They Actually Have Been Read

If you have more than one marijuana book, it is more than five years old, and it has so many creases in it that it is obvious that it has been read many times. If you have a copy of an Ed Rosenthal book with noticeable grow nutrient stains on some of the pages, then you are a true veteran (and likely grow some amazing green!).

If You Have A Collection Of Cannabis Culture Magazines

I know many, many people with High Times magazines, even old ones. But I don’t consider them to be veterans, because High Times magazines are easy to come by. Cannabis Culture magazines are very rare to find after they stopped print in 2009. I remember when Cannabis Culture launched in the mid-90’s. It was known in Oregon as the ‘veterans’ choice for cannabis info. That’s not a knock on High Times, they are very entertaining to read. But High Times focuses more on the pop culture side of things, whereas Cannabis Culture was just all about cannabis.

If You Find Buds In Your House That You Never Even Missed

Have you ever bought a new piece of furniture, and when you remove the old one you find a nug or two underneath? It’s all crispy with a piece of lint on it. It’s usually next to the crusty, decaying potato chip. If this has happened to you, and you don’t even remember losing that nugget because you smoke so often, then you are probably a marijuana veteran. One of my friends recently bought his first new couch in 15ish years. When we inevitably found a couple of nuggets, my friend stated that he didn’t remember losing them. But he did pick one of them up, cleaned it off, gave it a pinch and said, ‘oh wow, some sweet tooth, let’s smoke it.’ Now that my friends is a true marijuana veteran!

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