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There Needs To Be A Recreational Marijuana Olympics

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marijuana olympics

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An International Marijuana Consumption Competition Is Needed

Earlier I posted an article questioning the claim that Australians consume more marijuana per capita than the United States. And in that article I admitted that I was probably being a typical prideful American. However, I’m willing to back up those words with action by demanding that there be an international marijuana competition. I feel like if America went head to head with other nations in various categories, then and only then would I feel there would be a clear marijuana champion out there.

There are several competitions for the best produced marijuana, so I don’t see why there wouldn’t be a consumption competition to go with them. I don’t know what all of the events would be but I’d imagine a joint smoking competition with different styles and sizes of joints would be in order. Perhaps a largest bong hit competition? With so many different styles of marijuana consumption out there, it would be awesome to see which country had strengths in certain areas. The Jamaican team would tear it up in the blunt competition, but might not hang as well in the five foot bong competition.

I obviously don’t know what the feasibility of such a competition would be, or even where to begin, but it would be really cool if someday it could happen. I think it’s safe to say that America would have to call on the legendary Michael Phelps for the biggest bong hit competition. I’m no biologist, but those abnormally large lungs have to go a long way! It would be awesome to see the type of people that would come out and compete, much like hot dog eating competitions.

What events would TWB readers like to see? What other people do you think would dominate in what competitions?

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7 Comments

  1. How would this competition be objectively judged? How would you measure the biggest bong hit? Would it be measured in the volume of the smoke or the amount of weed burned? How would you check to make sure that the smoke was inhaled into the competitor’s lungs and that it wasn’t just held in their mouth and throat? Who would pack the bowls to make sure each was packed identically?

    In order for there to be any dialogue about a competition, stuff like that needs to be agreed upon.

  2. sylvia Madajewski on

    Portugal! It’s legal there, so they could host it! And it’s close enough to most of the contentients (except China and Australia). If one gets started I want to be on the judging end!

  3. When I envision the bong hit competition, I think of some of the lifting competitions in the World’s Strongest Man competitions, specifically the overhead military press. There is someone there to judge whether or not the competitor ‘locked his elbows.’

    I think it would be the same for the bong hit competition. The bowls would be pre-packed with a set amount – .5gr, .7gr, up to whatever gr. The competitor would have to clear the bowl (suck it all through) and completely inhale the smoke. There would be some human subjectivity of course, but that’s pretty standard in most international competitions.

    Of course, all suggestions would be considered at the imaginary ‘marijuana olympic committee’ so the rules would be in place ahead of time, and would likely evolve as the competitions went along.

  4. Mullyguts Malone on

    I am Australian and I say bring it on. I once rolled a joint that contained a full ounce of weed during a recording session for a band that I did some heavy lifting for. They wanted a live feel so invited a heap of friends into the studio for a party and since I was known for my abilities in that department I got the job. It was rolled in sections with standard “Tally ho” rolling papers then joined together on a coathanger wire for support. There must have been about fifty people there and it went around at least twice, maybe three times, sorry but things got a bit hazy after the second round. Buzzzzzz. used to be pretty good on the “Didge bong” too but a bit old for that now. Do I qualify for selection? ;o)

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